The Weekly Encourager – August 17, 2013 – What I Learned About Leadership

Last week Donald Graham sold The Washington Post newspaper, which had been in his family for generations. The buyer was Jeff Bezos, the founder of the highly successful online retailer Amazon.com. Naturally, Sunday's Post was full of interviews, commentary, and speculation about this major development. I am always interested in learning about effective leaders in business, so I'll share with you some of what I gleaned about Graham and Bezos. (Parents and teachers especially might mention these to their children, but all of us can be inspired.)

Dave Kindred, a former colleague, said about Donald Graham, “Everyone at The Post, and I mean everyone, believed that Don cared more about The Washington Post than anything in his life....Everyone looked at him as the personification of the great newspaper that they dreamed of working for....He knew everybody and had this magical quality of remembering everyone's name and something about them.”

Peter Perl, another colleague, wrote his piece as if he were addressing Graham directly. “When you reluctantly sat down with me in your office for the first interview for your obituary, I asked what you would most like to be remembered for, and here is where you surprised me....Concerning The Post, you [mentioned hiring certain key staff]. Typical that you would make your legacy less about yourself than about your trusted colleagues. You left out how you valiantly defended quality journalism at great risk, facing down generals and presidents...to assert the freedom of the press....But the surprise in our talk was when you told me what you hoped your true legacy would be, the kind of thing you wanted on your tombstone or, well, in your obituary. It was not about journalism or The Post at all. It was how you had done everything you could to help poor and minority families in the District educate their children....You...co-founded and chaired the D.C. College Access Program, which has assisted more than 10,000 students and distributed roughly $20 million in tuition grants....And you have given a huge amount of your money to many other causes, much of it done in classic Don Graham fashion – quietly, even anonymously.”

Graham was interviewed by Ezra Klein about his selection of Jeff Bezos to take over. When asked, “What are Bezos's thoughts on the media? What kind of news consumer is he?” Graham answered, “Here are a few things I've learned [about Jeff Bezos]....When Jeff holds meetings at Amazon, he asks people not to use PowerPoints but to write an essay about their product or program or what the meeting is to be about. For the first 10 or 15 minutes, everyone sits and reads the essay. His point is that if you write at length, you have to think first, and he feels the quality of thought you have to do to write at length is greater than the quality of thought to put a PowerPoint together. He also says that to get to know people he calls day-long meetings about books where everyone reads the same book and talks about it. So he's a reader. The quality of his thought and advice to me over the past few years is reflected in the memo he wrote to the staff. His philosophy is to try things. Try things and experiment, and if it doesn't work, try more.”

Farhad Manjoo of Slate said Bezos might be just what the newspaper needs to revive business. First, of course, Bezos has the funds necessary to buy it. But, “Bezos's real value to The Post – the reason that people in the media are both shocked and optimistic about this deal – isn't what's in his wallet. It's what's in his head. As a businessman, Bezos has three signature traits. He's relentlessly focused on pleasing customers....He's uncommonly patient, willing to give good ideas years to play out before expecting a payoff....Most important, Bezos is fascinated by novel business models; he's constantly on the hunt for new ways to sell groceries, cloud services, media, and everything else.”

From these first-person accounts, I note the following characteristics of leaders who rise to the top: Responsibility. Courage. Persistence. Passion in your work. Personification of the best qualities in your profession, such that you inspire others. Getting to know the people who work for you. Generosity. Helping the poor from your earnings. Humility. Hiring good people. Asking experts for advice. Giving good advice. Making a good product which pleases the customer. Freedom to try new approaches and then assess their success or failure. Patience. Ability to think clearly. Ability to write essays. Reading books!

Just some thoughts on leadership from our local paper. As Christians, we aspire to the same fine qualities, but not just to earn the praise of colleagues. We strive for excellence in all we do, to honor our Heavenly Master first, then to serve our fellow man and provide for ourselves. If we put God first in every endeavor, He will direct our paths and prosper the work of our hands.

God is faithful,

j

Quoted articles are from The Washington Post, Sunday, August 11, 2013. Peter Perl, “Dear Don”, page B1, B3. Ezra Klein, “Don Graham talks about Bezos and The Post's sale”, G1, G6. Farhad Manjoo, “Bezos may be what The Post needs”, page G4.

The Weekly Encourager – July 30, 2013 – What God Knew

People have asked me, how's the gap year going? How's the home re-organization? If you've been reading along, you know that “it isn't exactly what we had planned,” yet the Lord is sovereign over all things, and He sees into the future. Bowing out of several volunteer jobs gave us time to be with Dave's dad before he died. We could not have foreseen that Marney would go so quickly, but God did. We could not have known we would be going to five more funerals after that one, but God did.

On top of the frustration with the basement water leakage itself, the whole process of hiring a waterproofing company, then repairing the damaged walls, floors, and ceilings has been one trial after another. I could not have foreseen that re-building the basement would be about building my patience, but God did. I could not have foreseen that Austin would be moving back home during the process, and therefore able to do some of the work for us, but God did. I did not realize that Austin moving back in with us would mean that we have an ideal house-sitter while we travel for a full month this Fall, but God did. He has been so good!

Each step of the way I have had to lean on the Lord, asking Him for wisdom and strength. I am learning to say, “If the Lord wills” and “not my will, but Thine.” Keep calm and carry on. I never could have imagined that, when Austin returned, he and I would enjoy a blessed new peace in our relationship, but God did. Since he moved in several months ago, we've had only one argument, and it was over in two minutes! God knew we needed such an encouraging sign of the Holy Spirit's work in us both. Thanks be to God!

I'm making progress. After much ado, we finally got a new basement floor put in. Then I hired Austin and three other young men from church to haul the furniture, file cabinets, and boxes back down. We have a living room again! We have a family room again! I couldn't know that living in very cramped quarters for three and a half months would lead to greater appreciation of our space, but God did.

What's next? I predict that between work, family, and travel plans, it will take another several weeks (months?) to sort through everything and put it away properly. I could not have foreseen that the water problem would provide the perfect opportunity for a long-overdue re-organization of my quilt business, but God did. Now that furniture and fabric will be placed in a more logical way with improved lighting, I expect my work to go more smoothly and more pleasantly, and that's good household and business management!

 “In everything give thanks, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.” - 1 Thessalonians 5:18 NASB God knew I would need that verse!

 Making progress with a faithful God,

j

 

 

 

The Weekly Encourager - July 24, 2013 - Progress Report

I donated another load of things today. It's a slow process, but I'm getting somewhere. I am making progress little by little. I'll never forget the excellent advice I got from my prayer partner Gail Baker years ago. As a busy homeschooling mom with three active kids, yet needing to organize her house, she told me, “I just clean out one drawer every week.” It sounds simple, right? But how will you get the whole house done if you only sort one drawer (or one box or one shelf) a week? I am here to testify that it IS simple and IT WORKS.

So many times we are overwhelmed by the amount of work to be done, and we don't know where to start, so we don't start at all. This is called procrastination. Did you know that many procrastinators are really perfectionists in disguise? We don't want to start something until conditions are perfect. I won't date until I meet the perfect guy. I won't try out for the team until I'm the best player. I won't invite those new folks over until I re-paint my dining room. I won't start cleaning out the closet until I have a whole day free. It goes on. After Gail's encouragement, I went home and organized my sock drawer. Yes, that's it, just my sock drawer. It felt so good that I did another drawer the next week, and so on. That simple concept built a habit that changed my life.

I remember getting my whole family to agree to work for ONLY ONE HOUR on our garage. I promised them that when the hour was up, we'd stop, and I kept my word. Guess what? With four of us working steadily for ONLY ONE HOUR, we got a lot done. The next Saturday, we did the same thing. Four more man-hours. That progress inspired me to do a bit more during the week, and soon the job was done. [Tip: I have found that people, particularly men, do better when given a specific time. They seem much more cooperative when asked, “Can you help me for one hour today in the garage?” instead of “Can you help me clean the garage today?” One implies hope for well-earned release, the other breeds dread of a long, yawning deficit of a day.]

My friend Karen Royer sent me a link to a nice little article on this topic, so now my blog will reference another blog! On the Proverbs 31 Ministries site, Lisa Allen writes, “The truth is, if I know I should take steps toward [a goal], then my response should simply be to ask myself, 'What can I do today?' and then do it. I don't have to have a plan for a month or even a week...only today....As I've observed this pattern of procrastination within myself, I find when faced with a desire and necessity to make a change for the better, sometimes I wait until I can do it perfectly before I'm willing to begin. Scripture tells us though, 'If you wait for perfect conditions, you'll never get anything done!' (Ecclesiastes 11:4)...Taking that first step is the hardest and yet most important step. Even a baby step toward a goal is better than staying in place. Aiming for progress rather than perfection can be quite freeing....imperfect action is better than perfect procrastination.” Well said!

There have been so many times in this huge task that I've been tempted to slack off. The world, the flesh, and Satan himself whisper little hints in my ear. These little whisperings are the voice of procrastination, who keeps company with idleness, waste, and despondency. Spend too much time with these folks and you end up with rot and ruin. You won't find procrastination on God's path of righteousness.

It really doesn't matter how big the task is. For those of us who are beloved of the Lord, with access to His mighty power, size is not a valid excuse. When Moses was told to lead God's people across the Red Sea, did he procrastinate because the water was too wide and too deep? No way. He started walking! If you want to cross the water, you have to get your feet wet. (For some of us, that means the sock drawer. God will show you what you are to do; you probably know it already.) Although progress on my projects is slower than I'd prefer, by God's grace, at least I'm moving in the right direction. Thanks be to God!

Making progress with a faithful God,

The article quoted above is “Progress or Procrastination?” by Lisa Allen, July 22, 2013. Here's a link:

http://proverbs31.org/devotions/devo/progress-or-procrastination/

 

The Weekly Encourager – July 12, 2013 – You Can Do Anything?

 When speaking of future careers, parents are often told to inspire their kids by telling them, “you can do anything you want.” Is this for real? Here are some interesting thoughts excerpted from the Linked In web site.

Martha Stewart: “The best advice I’ve ever received was from my father when I was 12 years old and willing to listen. He told me that with my personal characteristics, I could, if I set my mind to it, do anything I chose. This advice instilled in me a great sense of confidence, and despite the fact that sometimes I was a little nervous, I stepped out and did what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. I think it really often is up to the parents to help build confidence in their children. It is a very necessary part of growing up.

“Armed mainly with my father’s encouragement that I could do anything I put my mind to, I considered my options. I had no capital to start my own business. I did, however, have a great desire to work hard and learn....

“If you want to begin the journey to discover your entrepreneurial passion, you must first analyze your own interests, strengths, weaknesses, and desires; and then you must consider carefully how hard you want to work....I have the same passion for both [my life and my work]. Simply stated, my life is my work and my work is my life. As a result, I consider myself one of the lucky ones because I am excited every day: I love waking up; I love getting to work; I love focusing on a new initiative. There are many, many people who have inspired, taught, influenced, and supported me during the years that I have been visualizing, creating, building, and managing my own entrepreneurial venture — but I’ll never forget the favor my father did me when he instilled in me the tenacity I needed to build a career based on what I love most.” - Martha Stewart, American business magnate, author, magazine publisher, and television personality


Response by Bill Hendricks: It's good advice that, 'with my personal characteristics, I could, if I set my mind to it, do anything I chose.' But the key phrase in that advice is, 'with my personal characteristics.' Unfortunately, most people ignore that part. Instead, they focus on the idea that 'you can do/become anything you want to do/become.' Without an understanding of one's core strengths, that's simply not true. Perhaps more unfortunately—most people don't actually know what their real strengths are. What I call their giftedness. You were indeed fortunate that, by trial and error and a lot of persistence, you managed to gain a sense of your strengths and end up in work that fits your giftedness. Most people don't. You were also fortunate that you had an encouraging father. Again, in my experience, most people don't. Thanks for encouraging people to examine their strengths and interests. That's where the real truth lies!”- Bill Hendricks, President of The Giftedness Center, specializing in organizational effectiveness and individual career guidance

And now, a few words from our Sponsor: No longer will the ground yield good crops for you, no matter how hard you work! From now on you will be a homeless wanderer on the earth.” - Genesis 4:12 NLT

Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might; for there is no activity or planning or knowledge or wisdom in Sheol where you are going.” - Ecclesiastes 9:10 NASB

Lazy people want much but get little, but those who work hard will prosper.” - Proverbs 13:4 NLT

Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically.” - Romans 12:11 NLT

use your hands for good hard work, and then give generously to others in need.” - Ephesians 4:28 NLT

Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men; knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve.” - Colossians 3:23-24 NASB

So far, I have not found anything in the Bible that says you can do anything you want, but there's a lot about doing all that you can. As parents, we hope to help our children discover their God-given gifts, so that they may serve the Lord and serve others, always looking more to the heavenly rewards than the earthly ones.

God is faithful,

j

Article on Linked In “Best Advice: You Can Do Anything You Choose" April 2013. www.LinkedIn.com

 

 

 

The Weekly Encourager – July 4, 2013 – Pray for Our Country

Here is a prayer for our nation on Independence Day. Some have attributed the prayer to President Thomas Jefferson, while others say that it's from the 1928 Book of Common Prayer, possibly written by George Lyman Locke (1835-1919), a Rhode Island minister. No matter the author, it's still worthy of our consideration. All our sincere prayers are assisted by Jesus Christ, who sits next to the Father on the Royal Throne of Heaven. Although, as Americans, we celebrate independence from tyranny, as Christians, we rejoice in dependence upon the Lord for life, liberty, and all good things. 

Almighty God, Who has given us this good land for our heritage; We humbly beseech Thee that we may always prove ourselves a people mindful of Thy favor and glad to do Thy will. Bless our land with honorable ministry, sound learning, and pure manners.

Save us from violence, discord, and confusion, from pride and arrogance, and from every evil way. Defend our liberties, and fashion into one united people the multitude brought hither out of many kindreds and tongues.

Endow with Thy spirit of wisdom those to whom in Thy Name we entrust the authority of government, that there may be justice and peace at home, and that through obedience to Thy law, we may show forth Thy praise among the nations of the earth.

In time of prosperity fill our hearts with thankfulness, and in the day of trouble, suffer not our trust in Thee to fail; all of which we ask through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.

 

 

The Weekly Encourager – June 17, 2013 – Your Kid Won't Eat Spinach?

Finally, there is scientific proof for what I've been saying all along: children can learn to like new foods.

In “Accounting for Taste,” Tom Vanderbilt reviews research about why people prefer certain foods. Studies have found that, in matters of taste, being exposed several times to something new improves one's attitude toward it, whether the object is jazz, modern art, or sushi. As Vanderbilt says, “the more times you try something, the more you will generally like it....[With] young children, some researchers have found that around nine exposures are needed before liking sets in.” You can't like what you don't know, and you can't know until you've tried it.

Some other interesting findings: We choose what to eat based on stored-up memories from all our previous meals. Psychologist Elizabeth Capaldi said, “Every eating experience is a learning experience,” so let's make it a good learning experience for our kids. One successful technique is to pair a new flavor with a familiar food that the child already likes. People who already drink tea are more likely to accept chai in tea; people who already like chicken wings will experiment with Thai-flavored chicken wings. Also, babies are more likely to prefer cereal with carrots if their mothers drank carrot juice while pregnant or nursing. It should go without saying that your child is more likely to eat veggies if he sees mom and dad eat them!

When our kids were growing up, Dave and I developed The One-Bite Rule and The Three-Bite Rule. The first time the child was introduced to a new food, he was required to take one bite of it. If he liked it and wanted more, we would serve more. The second time the child encountered that food, he had to take three bites. If he wanted more, he could have it. If not, no problem: he had his three bites and nothing further was said. The Three-Bite Rule applied every time thereafter. One exception: dessert, which is always optional. :)

It's important to note that this rule was presented as one of our Family Rules about The Way We Do Things. The rule was presented as a reflection of our love for him and desire for his well-being, just like all the other rules. It was not an option, but a fact. No discussion was necessary after a basic explanation of the rule. Also note that these were child-sized bites, not adult-sized. It's not nice to expect a little kid to eat a huge amount of food.

Let me tell you, this rule works! After several times of eating just three bites of something, our kids learned to like many, many foods that otherwise might have been rejected on first impression. Not only did they learn to like many good healthy foods – such as spinach – but they also developed the ability to sample foreign and exotic cuisine, including foods served at other homes. We don't want our kids to go to anyone's house and not be able to eat what is offered in friendship. I have met several adults who will eat only one or two vegetables, for example. What a waste not to be able to enjoy all of God's creation!

Does your child have a sensitive stomach? While The One-Bite Rule and The Three-Bite Rule were our general practice both at home and away, we extended grace in the very rare instances when a child just could not stand the food after multiple exposures. Austin actually threw up every time he ate coleslaw, so we stopped requiring it. On the other hand, Austin was so used to having fresh vegetables every day that, when his little friends were invited to our house for dinner, I overheard him encourage them to eat their veggies!

By the way, The One-Bite Rule and The Three-Bite Rule work for adults, too. Just saying...

Enjoy all the good things God has given.

j

The article by Tom Vanderbilt quoted here appears in the June 2013 issue of Smithsonian magazine, pp.60-65, 104-107.

The Weekly Encourager – June 1, 2013 – The Week in Review

Government officials, media people, bloggers, financial experts, and pundits summarize each week's news for all of us to consider. We take time to enjoy these weekly reports for the insight they can provide, but how many of us take even a moment to do the same type of summary of our own lives?

I try to allow a few minutes each Saturday or Sunday before worship in order to review the previous week, including the major events, difficulties, and answers to prayer. How did the Lord give strength in trying situations or victory over temptation this week? Did any new challenges arise that deserve my research, consideration and prayer? How did I serve others this week? In what ways was I a witness to the gospel? What blessings did I particularly appreciate? What do I need most from God on this, His Sabbath day? (What does He need from me?) I think it helps prepare me to worship God in the congregation as I look back and see how the Lord has worked in my life since last Sunday morning.

As I sat down with my notebook one recent Saturday, I noted that it was a particularly stressful week for me. I was heartbroken over one situation, and there was no surgery to fix it. Then there are the ongoing strains of family, work, finances, health, our house being renovated, etc. My first mental summary of the week was that it was a week of disappointment. Then, as I reminded myself to find things to give thanks for, the Holy Spirit began to bring several things to mind which were either direct answers to prayer or pleasant providences that show God's love in my life. Even the many delays with my basement project show that a loving Father wants to teach me patience.

A sermon by Pastor Paul Wolfe reminded us of the supreme value of the reconciliation achieved by Christ. Once we were sinners capable of any evil act, including the bombing at the Boston Marathon, but God changed us. Christ paid the penalty for our sin. “The greatest need that a human being could ever have has been fully satisfied. That's the need to be brought back, reconciled, into a loving relationship with God. And this is the key to contentment in your life. If you don't grasp this...with a hearty faith,...you're going to be groping in vain for any real measure of contentment in your life...you are going to be constantly swamped by the thought of your needs that are not met or of the things that you might lose, without anything weighty and solid and eternal to counteract those fears and sorrows. Reconciliation is the key. Reconciliation with God trumps every loss; reconciliation with God transcends every sorrow, and that is not at all to minimize our losses and sorrows. It's simply to recognize that...we've been given a gift that far outweighs them all. And no one can touch that. Once you've got it, no one can snatch that. No enemy, no circumstance, no trial, nothing, no one, can make you who believe in Christ be alienated from God again.”

I'm thinking it's a good thing to look at the week in review, but don't forget that one bad week is just a blip in eternity. Review the week, then review reconciliation. Reconciliation with Christ trumps every bad week and every good week I've ever had in my entire life! Therefore, I must persevere. Pastor Paul gave the example of a young boy just starting out in Little League. The team was told to run around all the bases for practice. This one boy ran as fast as his little legs could carry him to first base, then he was so excited to be there, with all the parents cheering, that he didn't want to move on! As assistant coach, Paul had to encourage him to keep on running to second and beyond. Go! Don't stop now! Run around all the bases and don't stop until you reach home plate.

In the same way, we need to keep on running even if we get tired between second and third base. (I'm between second and third base right now in my life.) “Take heart, because we must persevere, and we will persevere.” Whatever base we're on now, we have the certainty of completing the race, with no possibility of bailing out. Christ will never let go of us, and He's provided word and Spirit to help us finish well. “Don't give up. Hold on to Christ....Don't shift from the hope of the gospel by allowing hopeless despair to worm its way in and gain a foothold in your heart. Don't give up...You are not what you were.” As parents cheer on their little kids, the church cheers us on. We cheer each other on. (Did you cheer anyone on this week?)

“The Lord your God is in your midst, a victorious warrior. He will exult over you with joy, He will be quiet in His love, He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy.” - Zephaniah 3:16-18 NASB

“Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of His glory with great joy, to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen.” - Jude 1:24-25 ESV

Press on and cheer on,

j

To hear Paul Wolfe's excellent sermon, visit http://newhopefairfax.org/resources/sermons-to-hear and click on April 21, 2013.

 

 

 

 

 

The Weekly Encourager – May 24, 2013 – The Early and Late Rains

I have been rejoicing all week with my friend's family. Their son just graduated from a four-year college! This young man, diagnosed with learning disabilities, struggled with academics and other issues during his high school years. At the time, our Moms In Touch group met for an hour each week to pray for the students and staff of that high school. Many times we lifted up this young man to the Lord, asking God to give him motivation, good study skills, perseverance, understanding of academic subjects, and respect for authority. We prayed for wisdom for his parents to make good decisions in dealing with his particular situation. After he left that high school, we continued to pray.

The good news is that, again, God was faithful to answer the heart-felt prayers of His people. Despite the challenges, this child gained maturity and a better attitude. He chose a college at which he could play baseball, which he was far more passionate about than academic subjects. Every child needs to have success in something. Having that sport to play and to excel in probably helped his motivation to stay in school. By God's grace, he persevered and made it through all four years of college.

It gets better. After graduation, on his own initiative this young man went back to thank his coach and mentor for all his support. That coach arranged a paid coaching job for him! To those of us who knew him as a teenager, this is an amazing story. God has provided what we desire for all our children, that they would find something that they love to do and are good at, and get paid to do it! All the hard work has paid off. Even better, the son's desire to go back and thank the mentor shows a remarkable growth in character. Yes, we want our kids to find jobs in their field, but we want godliness even more. Gratefulness is a key trait often lacking in teenagers, and to see this young man putting into practice what he was taught growing up in a Christian home warms my heart and causes me to sing praises to our heavenly Father.

God is so good that He not only answers prayer, but pours out blessing upon blessing. Parents, do not grow weary! Continue to teach and to love and to encourage and above all, to pray for your child. If possible, find others to pray with you on a regular basis.

"Be patient, therefore, brethren, until the coming of the Lord. Behold, the farmer waits for the precious produce of the soil, being patient about it, until it gets the early and late rains. You too be patient; strengthen your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand....Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray....Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.” - James 5:7-8, 13, 16 NASB

The story of my friend's son encourages me, as my own son starts back to college this term, after taking some time off to work. As parents, we plant the seeds of success in our children. They are our “precious produce.” Then we continue to work and to wait through each season of their growth. We try to plant them in good soil and make sure they get plenty of sunlight. Then we have to wait until they get the early and the late rains. Sometimes the late rains don't come until adulthood, after they have left our direct daily influence, so we pray for God to put good people in their lives who will continue the training in godliness. We never lose trust in the Lord's goodness, wisdom, and perfect timing. We pray for the early and late rains.

God is faithful,

j

Copyright 2013 Janet A. Marney

The Weekly Encourager – May 12, 2013 – Mothers Guide the Destinies

"The influence which is exerted upon the mind during the first eight or ten years of existence, in a great degree guides the destinies of that mind for time and eternity. And as the mother is the guardian and guide of the early years of life, from her goes the most powerful influence in the formation of the character of a child. And why should it not be so? What impressions can be more strong, and more lasting, than those received upon the mind in the freshness and susceptibility of youth?...If you would be a happy mother of a happy child, give your attention, and your efforts, and your prayers, to the great duty of training him up for God and heaven." - John C. Abbott, in "The Mother at Home" (1833).

Take time today to be thankful for any good influence that your mother had upon your character and life. Pass the blessing on to your children and/or to any young people in your life, whether related or not. YOU can help guide destinies. Happy Mother's Day!♀

God is faithful,

j

 

The Weekly Encourager – April 29, 2013 – To Store or Not to Store

Are you one of the large percentage of Americans with too much stuff? One of the best books I have read in the last few years is “To Buy or Not to Buy” by Dr. April Lane Benson. I checked out this book from the library thinking that it would help me understand a lady I care about who has a serious shopping addiction. Her behavior has plunged her family into debt and ruined their credit rating. Her marriage has been seriously strained. Their home is so full that there's barely space to sit down. Could I possibly help? Well, it turned out that the book is a template for all kinds of addictions because many aspects of the addiction cycle are the same, whether the problem is shopping, alcohol, drugs, overeating, pornography, computer gaming, worry, or whatever. I highly recommend it for ANY addiction.

Even more surprising, it turned out that some of the book applied to me! What?! I was shocked to read that you can be addicted to accumulating stuff without putting your finances at risk. I guess either you have enough money that your shopping doesn't strain the budget, or, you get a lot of stuff for free. Well, I pride myself on being the Bargain Lady. Much of what we own has been obtained second-hand and creatively rehabilitated. I was raised by parents who grew up poor, but they did well through education, hard work, saving, careful shopping, and creative recycling. I learned those values well and could teach them to others. Now, nothing's wrong with shopping, as long as you don't overdo it. Nothing's wrong with saving, as long as I don't overdo it. But what is overdoing it?

Here's how God works: I check out a book to help a friend, and the book reveals my own problem. The flooding basement which has occupied my thoughts for many months becomes a blessing in disguise. It gives me golden opportunities 1. to sort through and donate more stuff; 2. to improve the furniture layout for more optimum performance; 3. to repair and update some things. Is this great trial in fact an answer to prayer?! Husband and sons graciously encourage me in my efforts, leading by example. Scriptures and even something going around the internet corroborate. I flip my daily quote calendar and find this by Ann Landers: “One of the best ways to measure people is to watch the way they behave when something free is offered.” This is how God works, a Gentle Shepherd showing His great compassion for my weakness by sprinkling little reminders throughout my week and opening my eyes and maintaining His sweet patience with my feeble attempts to improve. He is so loving with His rod and His staff. Thank You, Lord.

Amazingly, He enables me to stand victorious! This week I passed a test. Someone offered me “20 boxes and 14 bags” of beautiful quilting fabric, and I said no! Formerly my first impulse would be to rush over and get the fabric, then sort through it, keeping “some” for myself and selecting more for a couple of friends who have just started in quilting and could use the fabric. Then I would pass on the rest to my guild for community service projects. But, look at the timing! By God's providence, this month my basement is being torn apart and all the fabric I own is currently filling our living room. To store or not to store? The simple truth is, I don't even have room to sort this windfall, much less store it, so I just had to LET IT GO.

How do I feel? One part of me is remembering the leeks of Egypt, but a bigger part of me is looking back at the Red Sea! As the song goes, “I will sing unto the Lord for He has triumphed gloriously, the horse and rider thrown into the sea!” Be encouraged, friends, in whatever trial you may be facing. Be thankful in it, for the Good Shepherd may use it to guide you along His golden paths of righteousness. Be obedient in it, for His oil can help heal your addiction. Be trusting in it, for His arms can hold you up. To God be all the glory!

God is faithful,

j

Copyright 2013 Janet A. Marney

The Weekly Encourager – April 10, 2013 – 100 People

“If you could fit the entire population of the world into a village consisting of 100 people, maintaining the proportions of all the people living on Earth, that village would consist of 57 Asians, 21 Europeans, 14 Americans (North, Central and South), and 8 Africans. There would be 52 women and 48 men, 30 Caucasians and 70 non-Caucasians, 30 Christians and 70 non-Christians, 89 heterosexuals and 11 homosexuals. Six people would possess 59% of the wealth and they would all come from the USA. Eighty would live in poverty, 70 would be illiterate, 50 would suffer from hunger and malnutrition, 1 would be dying, 1 would be being born, 1 would own a computer, 1 (yes, only one) would have a university degree. If we looked at the world in this way, the need for acceptance and understanding would be obvious.

“But, consider again the following: If you woke up this morning in good health, you have more luck than one million people, who won’t live through the week. If you have never experienced the horror of war, the solitude of prison, the pain of torture, were not close to death from starvation, then you are better off than 500 million people. If you can go to your place of worship without fear that someone will assault or kill you, then you are luckier than 3 billion (that’s right) people.

“If you have a full fridge, clothes on your back, a roof over your head and a place to sleep, you are wealthier than 75% of the world’s population. If you currently have money in the bank, in your wallet and a few coins in your purse, you are one of 8 of the privileged few amongst the 100 people in the world.

“If your parents are still alive and still married, you’re a rare individual. If someone sent you this message, you’re extremely lucky, because someone is thinking of you and because you don’t comprise one of those 2 billion people who can’t read. AND SO? Work like you don’t need the money. Love like nobody has ever hurt you. Dance like nobody is watching. Sing like nobody is listening. Live as if this was paradise on Earth.” - Anonymous

Now, in addition to the above blessings that only a few out of 100 people have, add the truth of Scripture:

“God has already given you everything you need. He has given you the whole world to use, and life and even death are your servants. He has given you all of the present and all of the future. All are yours, and you belong to Christ, and Christ is God's.” 1 Corinthians 3:21-23

“Since he did not spare even his own Son for us but gave him up for us all, won't he also surely give us everything else?” Romans 8:32

“He will supply all your needs from his riches in glory, because of what Christ Jesus has done for us.” Philippians 4:19

“God is able to make it up to you by giving your everything you need and more, so that there will not only be enough for your own needs, but plenty left over to give joyfully to others.” 2 Corinthians 9:8

Friends, we have been given so much, and we need to thank God every single day and find ways to give joyfully to others!

God is good and generous,

j

The "anonymous" message above came around the internet under the title “Lightning in a jar.” If anyone knows the original source, please let me know so I can give credit. 

The Weekly Encourager – March 26, 2013 – The Trouble with the Tongue

I had a victory last week. Having often had trouble with my tongue, I was apprehensive about conversing with a certain challenging person. I prepared for the encounter with forethought and prayer; I asked others to pray as well. I knew I would have to depend on God at every moment to get through it. Afterward, my husband, who knows my struggle, complimented my handling of the situation “with grace and aplomb.” Dave's praise was a huge affirmation that God had answered my prayer. All glory to God, for He alone could enable me to be patient and kind in that particular situation! God was very good to me.

This past weekend I went on a quilt retreat to sew and visit with 43 other women. While many parts of the weekend were enjoyable, I was under the Holy Spirit's conviction about how we women talk with one another. I saw that, despite my apparent success last week, I easily slipped into other sins of the tongue just a few days later. I found that when women get together, there can be a tendency toward negativity, gossip, complaining, worry, and judging others. I was able to shift the focus of the conversation to more edifying topics three or four times, but I fell into sin at other times. The failures seem to overshadow the successes, and I arrived home very low in spirit. One surprising thing was that the Christian ladies weren't that much different from the non-Christian ones. At one point, when one talker said she had “better not reveal any more details,” a very quiet lady urged, “Oh, do tell.” I realized that even those who do not talk can be complicit in the same sin by their eagerness to listen. To top it off, the weekend ended with my judging a friend for being judgmental!

The trouble with the tongue is that it keeps on talking. What pours forth from my mouth is what is in my heart. The trouble with the heart is that it is desperately wicked! Maybe it's appropriate to feel such shame for sin during a time of reflection on our Lord Jesus' death on the cross. Thanks be to God, the cross ends in Easter! Although I feel sorrow over how I behaved during the weekend, I also know that Scripture promises salvation from every sin, even mine. God is gracious and compassionate, full of lovingkindness and mercy. In Christ I am forgiven. I can trust in Jesus to help me pray and prepare for the next time of challenge. I can be more aware of the typical temptations I face and look for strategies to resist them.

“Be of sound judgment and sober spirit....keep fervent in your love for one another....Whoever speaks, let him speak, as it were, the utterances of God;...so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen. “ - 1 Peter 4:7-11

“Do not speak against one another, brethren. He who speaks against a brother, or judges his brother, speaks against the law, and judges the law; but if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law, but a judge of it. There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the One who is able to save and to destroy; but who are you who judge your neighbor?” - James 4:11-12

“To sum up, let all be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil, or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead....Let him who means to love life and see good days refrain his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking guile. And let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it. “ - 1 Peter 3:8-12

Lord, give me the heart that loves, the heart that is humble, the thoughts and desires that please You. Give me sound judgment in my speech, with words that glorify Christ and build up others. I can't do this alone – I need You.

God is faithful,
j

Copyright 2013 Janet A. Marney

The Weekly Encourager – March 13, 2013 – Mercy

Mercy

You came to earth,
You came for me,
You laid down Your life
To set me free!
“I love you, “ You said
With everlasting love,”
By mercy, O Lord.

I did not seek
Your holy face;
My proud heart was cold,
My life a disgrace.
Yet mercy and love
Met justice in my place.
Your mercy, O Lord.

The humble Son
Died on a cross
To conquer my pride,
To count it loss.
Your body, the bread,
The cup, the blood You shed
In mercy, O Lord.

All that I am
All I can do,
My heart, my soul, my strength
I owe to You.
O show me how to walk
In everlasting love
With mercy, O Lord.

God is faithful,
j

Copyright 2013 Janet A. Marney 

The Weekly Encourager – March 1, 2013 – A Few Years Later

Today is the twelfth birthday of The Weekly Encourager. Here's what I sent out that first week, and it's still valid a few years later.

“For the Lord God is a sun and shield:
The Lord gives grace and glory;
No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly.
O Lord of hosts,
How blessed is the man who trusts in Thee!”
- Psalm 84:11-12

What a wonderful promise for us as parents!

God is faithful,
j

The Weekly Encourager – February 28, 2013 – A Place in the Son

Remember last week when I said I had a terrible cold but “I don't have cancer?” Well, the cold is almost gone (thank You, Lord!), but apparently I do have cancer. I learned on Tuesday evening that the biopsy of my left arm shows basal cell carcinoma. This cancer is more likely to occur in fair-skinned people over 40 who have had many severe sunburns early in life. Well, that was me. As a child, whenever I wasn't in school, I was usually outside. I was outside in the neighborhood, in the woods, at the pool, and at the beach. Those of you who are over 40 know that, back in the day, we didn't do much about the damaging rays of the sun. We never used sunblock or sunscreen; on the contrary, hoping for deep tans, we used baby oil to attract the sun's rays to our skin. I loved nature and I loved the sun even before I knew God. The first song I ever wrote (at age 4) was about the sun. I was (and still am) always looking for a place in the sun.

Human beings have a built-in need for relationship with their Creator. We're all looking for a place in the Son, whether we know it or not. Many ignore the testimony of creation, many rebel against the idea of submitting to a greater Being, many look for meaning in a myriad of other methods, yet nothing will satisfy except the Son. In His mercy God has graciously chosen to call some to Himself, loving us and forgiving all our sins through Christ. Those of us who know Him personally should be longing for more Son-exposure. We're not seeking a change in our outward appearance such as a suntan, and there is no danger of getting burned. When it comes to life in the Lord Jesus Christ, the more the better!

What kind of baby oil should a Christian put on? Especially when we are feeling pale and dry spiritually, we need to spend time in God's Word, prayer, meditation, quality teaching/preaching, uplifting music, and fellowship with other believers. In a sense, before we go outside, we want to rub any skin that is exposed to the world with this oil of salvation and consecration. We want to be totally covered, even immersed, in God's good news. As we build regular habits using these ordinary means of grace, we will draw in light and warmth and health. Note that baby oil is also shiny, so it reflects light to others while it benefits the wearer.

How am I feeling about having cancer? I'm okay with it. It helps that this type of cancer is very treatable with a high rate of success. Of course it's a pain to go through procedures, but “in everything give thanks,” right? I can be thankful for this, knowing that God must mean some good for me through it. “Shall we receive only pleasant things from the hand of God and never anything unpleasant?” - Job 2:10 TLB He's calling me to a deeper relationship. Do I spend more time maintaining my skin than my spiritual life? Even if cancer leads to death in my case, I am prepared to go at any time. I wish my house and papers were better organized (making progress on that!), but basically I'm ready to go. I have absolute confidence that I am saved. My Savior has prepared a place for me. Thanks be to God!

A deeper tan may lead to cancer, but a deeper relationship with Christ will lead to abundant life. Excuse me while I go put on some baby oil.

God is faithful,

j

Copyright 2013 Janet A. Marney

The Weekly Encourager - February 20, 2013 - “A Good Girl, and a Grateful One”

Today I begin Week 3 of possibly the worst cold I've ever had, but the Lord has given me peace. I had set aside these last two weeks to finish a spiritual-themed art quilt for the Sacred Threads exhibit, but I've been too sick to even think about it. Yet I know God is good to me all the time, and He is faithful. I've had to put my trust in Him as I see myself getting further behind in what I had planned to do. If that piece, which is in His honor, is not ready by the Sacred Threads deadline, so be it! If I have a horrible cold, so be it! His timing is perfect.

Last Sunday I was home sick, missing church, plans thwarted by common humanity, yet God made that day good. As I read some Scriptures, I was thankful for a warm safe home, healthy food, warm clothing, clean water, and other riches: family, friends, forgiveness of sin! The Lord has brought me “out of the house of bondage,” “out of the miry clay,” and it is good to remember that. I don't have cancer; my children aren't dying; my house was not swept away in a flood. Yet even if all those happen, I am loved by the Lord. Who am I to complain?

That same weekend, I watched “Little Dorrit” again. Charles Dickens' tale of Amy Dorrit, a little woman with a big heart, is such an encouragement. Despite having lived her entire life in a debtors' prison through no fault of her own, Amy has a remarkable testimony and influence for good. She brings cheer and comfort wherever she goes. Despite misunderstanding, false accusations, and persecution from those closest to her (her family), she is known by others for her good character and ceaseless, selfless good works. I was struck by the scene in which the cold and critical Mrs. Clennam recognizes that Amy is “a good girl, and a grateful one,” although she has but little in the way of material things. Surely if Little Dorrit could remain grateful, we who have so much more should be abounding in gratefulness!

How many rich people are truly happy? I think that man often adds sorrow to wealth, perhaps because keeping that wealth and caring for it and increasing it becomes all-encompassing for some, and they (we?) may forget to thank the Lord. “It is the blessing of the Lord that makes rich, and he adds no sorrow to it.” - Proverbs 10:22 NASB The Living Bible puts it this way: “The Lord's blessing is our greatest wealth. All our work adds nothing to it!”

As I looked up a few verses on wealth, I was amazed by Deuteronomy 8 when read in this light. Moses is speaking the word of the Lord after giving the 10 Commandments, and there is a lot about “remembering.” Well, I always thought that passage was about remembering to obey the Commandments. It is, but the underlying reason for obeying God is out of gratefulness for all He has done. God's people are to “remember” past humbling and present bounty. “When you have eaten and are satisfied, you shall bless the Lord your God for the good land which He has given you. Beware lest you forget the Lord your God...lest, when you have eaten and are satisfied, and have built good houses and lived in them, and when your herds and your flocks multiply, and all that you have multiplies, then your heart becomes proud, and you forget the Lord your God who brought you out from the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery...Otherwise, you may say in your heart, 'My power and the strength of my hand made me this wealth.' But you shall remember the Lord your God, for it is He who is giving you power to make wealth, that He may confirm His covenant....If you ever forget the Lord your God, and go after other gods and serve them and worship them,...you shall surely perish.” - Deuteronomy 8 NASB

All I have is from the gracious hand of the Lord, whether poverty or wealth, sickness or health. He loves me with an everlasting love. His banner over me is love. Lord, make me a good girl, and a grateful one. “I bless the holy name of God with all my heart.  Yes, I will bless the Lord and not forget the glorious things He does for me. He forgives all my sins. He heals me. He ransoms me from hell. He surrounds me with lovingkindness and tender mercies. He fills my life with good things!” Psalm 103:1-5 TLB

Remember.

j

Copyright 2013 Janet A. Marney

The Weekly Encourager – February 14, 2013 – Some Thoughts on True Love

Valentine's Day is here again, that one day of the year when we are supposed to give and receive love, or at least tokens of it. It's also the one day guaranteed to make some feel righteous, some feel guilty, and some feel lonely. (Thanks, Hallmark!) Fortunately, true love is more than candy, cards, flowers, and romantic evenings.

But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ – by grace you have been saved – and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus...For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” - Ephesians 2:4-6,10 ESV

This passage gives some insight into the nature of true love. God's love is so gracious. We were full of sin, but God was full of mercy. We deserved death, but God gave us life in Christ. We were headed for Hell, but God hands us to Heaven. We are reborn to a life of joyful service, destined to do good all our days.

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.” - Colossians 3:12-14 ESV

These are the traits of a person who truly loves: compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, patience, forbearance, forgiveness. We who are the recipients of God's grace grow in grace ourselves. A gracious heart overflows in gracious behavior toward others. Every loving thought, word, and deed is because God first loved us.

Gracious Heavenly Father, You are merciful, compassionate, forgiving. Thank You for loving me so much when I deserve nothing good at all. I have such a long way to go when it comes to sharing Your love with others. Today, may I grow in understanding and appreciating Your grace, that I may apply Your grace to every circumstance and person in my life. Make me a person who truly loves.

God is love,

j

 

The Weekly Encourager – February 6, 2013 – Pray for the Scouts

The Boy Scouts of America will be making a decision as early as today about whether or not to allow openly gay men in leadership positions. Remembering back a few years to when our son Austin was in Scouting, it was a wonderful feeling knowing that, unlike the Girl Scouts, the Boy Scouts held firm against external pressure to change their rules. This pressure included the withdrawal of significant support and funding from a variety of sources. As I understand it, the rules were developed to protect boys from damaging abuse. In the past, reports of such abuse in Scouting were met by public shock and outcry; yet now, the public seems to be encouraging circumstances which might make abuse more likely!

When we were in Scouting, the Boy Scouts' assurance of protection gave me pride in the organization to which my son belonged, and peace in sending him on outings, such as the multi-day canoe trip to Maine, without our presence. Let me add that when we were involved in Scouting, this wasn't just a theoretical rule on paper. There were many practical safeguards in place to ward off predatory adults. For example, every parent was made aware of the dangers, every leader was trained in spotting potential violations, and two adults were required to be present with any boy at all times. No boy was to be left alone with any adult who was not his parent. We hosted Austin's Cub Scout den meetings in our home, and if we didn't have two parents available, we had to cancel the den meeting.

It's been eight years since Austin earned the rank of Eagle Scout. With the way our country's culture has been going in the last eight years, I am sure that the Boy Scouts are facing even greater pressures now from without and from within. God's Word states clearly that practicing, unrepentant homosexuals are living a sinful life opposed to God, whether or not they molest children. These persons will not inherit the kingdom of God. Do we want these men to be leading our youth? Can we hold them up as godly mentors, possessing character worth emulating? We know from problems caused by the Catholic Church's past refusal to acknowledge and remove child-molesters from leadership that the danger is all too real. Jesus calls us to be salt and light to the community around us, and the Bible tells us to pray for the city in which we live.

I encourage all true believers to pray for those in government on a regular basis, and also to pray for large nationwide organizations that have great influence, such as the Scouts. Our nation's children must be protected. I will be praying to that end. Lord, frustrate the plans of the wicked, and help the Scouts to stand firm in good, pure, noble, and upright policies and behavior.

God is faithful,

j

Copyright 2013 Janet A. Marney

The Weekly Encourager – February 1, 2013 – If...Then

“The gospel aids our pursuit of holiness by telling us the truth about who we are. Certain sins become more difficult when we understand our new position in Christ. If we are heirs to the whole world, why should we envy? If we are God's treasured possession, why be jealous? If God is our Father, why be afraid? If we are dead to sin, why live in it? If we've been raised with Christ, why continue in our old sinful ways? If we are seated in the heavenly places, why act like the devil of hell? If we are loved with an everlasting love, why are we trying to prove our worth to the world? If Christ is all in all, why am I so preoccupied with myself?” - Kevin DeYoung

“Dear brothers, you have no obligations whatever to your old sinful nature to do what it begs you to do. For if you keep on following it you are lost and will perish, but if through the power of the Holy Spirit you crush it and its evil deeds, you shall live.” - Romans 8:12-13 TLB

“Overwhelming victory is ours through Christ who loved us enough to die for us.” - Romans 8:37 TLB

“Stand firm, therefore, having girded your loins with truth.” - Ephesians 6:14 NASB

Lord, give us a strong desire to read and know Your word. Let us be so immersed in its timeless truths that we want to follow You in holiness. Cause us to stand firm in time of temptation. Help us to resist the ways of the world, the flesh, and the devil. Conform us more and more to the holy image of Christ, that we might show Your glory. Amen.

God is holy,

j

Quotation from Kevin DeYoung, The Hole in Our Holiness: Filling the Gap between Gospel Passion and the Pursuit of Godliness. 2012 Wheaton, IL: Crossway, p.84.