The Weekly Encourager – February 23, 2021 – The Lord Delivers Us

“Blessed be the LORD, for He has heard my cry for mercy. The LORD is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him.” - Psalm 28:6-7 ESV

A few days ago, I was attacked on Facebook. I had made what I thought was a simple post* in a private Facebook group, and the first few comments were positive. They got my brand of wry humor. I went away to watch a drama on Netflix, never realizing that the real drama was playing out on Facebook. After the show ended, I decided to do a quick check back, and it had all blown up in my face. My post was grossly misinterpreted. What I intended as information was taken as insult. Apparently, I came across as feeling superior to others in the group because I knew more than they did, and this was a trigger for some to hijack the conversation with a different agenda.

Even worse, one of the admins messaged me privately to tell me of the huge battle that occurred while I was gone. People were not only criticizing me, but each other. The admins deleted the contentious post, but there was a new outcry over that decision. Now the admins themselves were attacked and spent two hours during a work day defending their decision to delete. People felt that the discussion should stay up as an example. The “resources” shared in the comments should not be stifled. Finally the admins bowed to the crowd and put it all back up.

When I arrived on the scene, I was shocked and saddened at the anger and hurt I had caused. I immediately posted a sincere apology before re-deleting the entire thread. I was ashamed of having offended people and tried to fix it the only way I knew how to do. I just wanted to get rid of what I did wrong. If I spill tomato sauce on the floor, my first instinct is to mop it up, not leave it there for others to slip on. I encouraged the admins to start a new thread so that people who wished to educate an old white lady could post all their resources in one place.

I was miserable for some long days and unable to work, but I called upon the Lord. I really appreciate those who wrote encouraging words and/or prayed for me during that horrible time. It’s always good to know that my Christian friends have my back – what a blessing! With perseverance and prayer, I was able to apologize to all and sundry, learning several new terms such as OP, dirty delete, ableism, emotional labor, tone policing, white tears, and centering along the way. By God's grace, the situation has been resolved. For now. I know I have a lot more to learn when it comes to communication. But He who has begun a good work in me will complete it, for He is faithful.

Why didn’t I just ignore the painful drama or even leave the group? As a Christian, I am called to be a peacemaker: to seek peace and pursue it, to be at peace with all men, insofar as it depends on me. My very witness to the transforming power of Christ was at stake! Yes, there are times when we are not to answer a fool according to his folly, but this was not one of those times. This was a time to apologize, listen, and learn. A dismissive attitude would only worsen the offense. Whether or not I intended harm, harm happened on my watch. Whether or not I agreed with everything that folks were saying, my post was the origin of the problem. Therefore, I needed to be the one to fix it.

As one group member commented to me, “you are fixing this by staying here, listening and taking this all in. It’s hard, but everyone is taking time to educate you and you are hearing it. I am seeing you do this and stay with it. This whole thread is a blessing and you are now changed for the time spent on this. Thanks to all the posters. Thanks to you for not running from the discomfort, the pain is worth it when growth comes from it.”

I don’t know if this person is a Christian, but her comment was in line with what the Holy Spirit was showing me in my heart. God says, “In your anger do not sin: do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” - Ephesians 4:26-27 NIV I firmly believe that a habitual failure to resolve conflict is a sign of fear or laziness. It’s an immature attitude which does not trust that God will get us though difficulties, or doesn’t take seriously His command to seek peace in all our relationships. Even when I am very upset, I am bold in trying to resolve conflict, because I know God is for me in this effort. He strengthens me and upholds me with His righteous arm. No matter how badly I feel, His love is always greater than my sorrow, shame, fear, or exhaustion. His mercy covers even my very worst failures. Despite my mistakes, the Lord enabled me to be a positive force for healing in this Facebook group, and I thank Him for that! That’s why I’m there in the first place. I am grateful for the opportunity to listen and grow, thus showing Christ’s love.

"Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the LORD delivers him out of them all." - Psalm 34:19

God is faithful,
j

*My original post clarified the difference between palette, pallet, and palate in a quilting group. It had absolutely nothing to do with racism or ableism; it was hijacked.