The Weekly Encourager – May 28, 2021 – What Would You Do?

I recently got a letter from C., a friend from the past who ghosted me almost 10 years ago. She says, “please forgive me” and writes about some of the wrong ways she acted then and how the Lord has humbled her and changed her heart now. What would you do?

I confess my first reaction was, Wow, you really hurt me and I want to tell you about all the pain you caused by your prideful selfish attitude. I can’t believe you’re coming back after all these years! I’ve felt the grief of losing a dear sister in Christ without a word of explanation, and I’ve moved on. Your actions have had consequences. I want a full and complete apology, and I want you to ask for my forgiveness, not assume you have it. Have you really changed? I want to discern whether you are worthy of my forgiveness and friendship.

But immediately the Holy Spirit (not the spiteful spirit) reminded me of Jesus’ parable about the servant who was forgiven a huge debt, then turned around and failed to forgive a man who owed him a much smaller debt. So I began to pray for the Lord to change my own prideful selfish attitude.

Lord, I know I must forgive her, but do I want to forgive her? Her betrayal tapped into my own serious issue of abandonment, and I’m very wary of trusting her again. However, the forgiveness God requires is not synonymous with irresponsibility. Of course I can still protect myself from harm, but I also need to recognize God’s care of me through any harm. God is an expert in using evil for good. “Trust but verify” is a phrase used in our DC area. I can still be cautious going forward, but I must offer my forgiveness freely.

Since I prayed for a more Christian attitude, I have been more aware of my own sin. How great is Christ’s forgiveness toward me! And of course, verses on forgiveness have been popping up all over. This came up in today’s devotional: “He saved us – not because we were good enough to be saved, but because of his kindness and pity – by washing away our sins…” from Titus 3:5 TLB. I thought of the prodigal son, who was welcomed home with open arms and abundant grace. The son was humbled and returned, just as C. is doing. The father was joyful and forgiving, just as I need to be.

We are saved not because we are worth forgiving, but because He has a loving nature. Forgiving C. is about me and my character and my walk with Jesus, not her, her character, and her walk. It doesn’t matter if she apologized or if she is worthy! It’s not for me to judge. This is a time to show my quality. As the old song goes, “Freely, freely, you have received; freely, freely give.” This is my opportunity to give a sinner a gift, and in so doing, give glory to Christ!

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” - Ephesians 4:32 ESV

“And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.” - Matthew 6:12

What would you do?

God is faithful,