The Weekly Encourager - June 3, 2011 - Extreme Anxiety, Part 1

Do you suffer from excessive fear, worry, or anxiety?  I'd like to share some of what God is doing with my dear friend Laura Ferratt.  Since I've known her, her main struggle has been with extreme anxiety, particularly in the area of her family's health and safety.  [Lest you think I'm talking out of turn, let me assure you that I am telling this story with her full permission.]   Knowing Laura's problem, it was wonderful to get an email a few months ago saying that she had been asked to speak to the women of her church about the Lord's great work of healing her anxiety!  Laura sent a copy of her speech to me.  Whether or not you struggle in this area,  I know her words will encourage you as they have me.

How did it all start?  As background, Laura talks about sharing friends' terrible tragedies and the doubts that formed: "Was God really good?"  Then she had a loss herself.  Next she was frightened by the DC area sniper, who was "randomly gunning people down."  Afraid that her little boy could be the next victim, Laura "began to be gripped with a feeling of helplessness" and found it difficult to leave her house.  "The roots of fear were alive and growing in my heart, even though I tired to cram them down and ignore them."

In 2005, her fears were compounded when the family moved down to Tornado Alley in Texas.  She began to have irrational thoughts, huddling in a centrally-located closet during any threat of storms.  During one three-month stretch of bad weather, she confined herself to this closet most of the time.  She continued to be afraid of big spiders and scorpions in the yard, additional elements of a hostile environment.

In 2009, the Swine Flu scare hit the nation.  With her youngest child bringing home every illness from school, she was morbidly afraid that her boys would get the Swine Flu and die.  She got a bad stomach flu which, when combined with "back-to-back panic attacks," made her feel that she was about to die.  Too weak to talk or move from bed, she finally admitted that, "ultimately, I didn't trust God.  But, as I lay there, God removed the pillars of earthly security and strength that I was reaching for, one by one, and made me face the REAL reason for my fear.  I HAD NO CONTROL.  Later, and gently, God showed me my sin....It looks and sounds like this:

" 'God, you big, mean, cruel, incompetent God, how dare you order my life and my children's lives like you do?  You are so pathetically inadequate to govern my affairs, you need to move over and let me have it!!!  I want it.  I want everything -- right now -- comfort, perfection, heaven, no suffering, no death!!!  I want it right now!  How dare you make ME wait!!!'"

Now if you're honest with yourself, you could probably admit that you've had the same feeling at one point or another, right?  Me, too.  Now see what was happening.  "God did with me what I've had to do with my children when they have a temper-fit...He laid me down and let me spend myself.  After I kicked and screamed and yelled at him, He quietly started to restore me."  Laura sought a Biblical counselor.  Even though she could only afford one counseling appointment per month, she meditated on what she learned and worked it into her life.  God used this, along with scriptures, books, sermons, music, and conversations with her husband and friends, to gently break her.  "I had to smell how rotten the tomato under my seat was, how stinking and offensive my fist shaking was to a Holy God, before I could begin to have what I truly wanted -- a sound mind."

To be continued...

God is faithful; in Him do I trust,
j

Copyright 2011 Janet A. Marney
All quotations from Laura Ferratt used by permission.