The Weekly Encourager - May 7, 2012 - A Prayer for Gratefulness

May 07, 2012 by Janet A. Marney

GRATEFULNESS

by George Herbert (1593- 1633)

Thou that hast given so much to me,
Give one thing more, a grateful heart.
See how thy beggar works on thee
By art.

He makes thy gifts occasion more,
And says, If he in this be crossed,
All thou hast given him heretofore
Is lost.

But thou didst reckon, when at first
Thy word our hearts and hands did crave,
What it would come to at the worst
To save.

Perpetual knockings at thy door,
Tears sullying thy transparent rooms,
Gift upon gift, much would have more,
And comes.

This not withstanding, thou wenst on,
And didst allow us all our noise:
Nay thou hast made a sigh and groan
Thy joys.

Not that thou hast not still above
Much better tunes, than groans can make;
But that these country-airs thy love
Did take.

Wherefore I cry, and cry again;
And in no quiet canst thou be,
Till I a thankful heart obtain
Of thee:

Not thankful, when it pleaseth me;
As if thy blessings had spare days:
But such a heart, whose pulse may be
Thy praise.

My thanks to Kathy Kuhl and Janice Campbell for intoducing me to this poem. My thanks to God for all His blessings!

The Weekly Encourager – April 6, 2012 – Good Friday Songs in the Night

April 06, 2012 by Janet A. Marney

I thought you might want to hear that the Lord is answering the prayers of His people. The Holy Spirit has been bringing long-forgotten praise songs to mind, without me even thinking about it. Last night (Maundy Thursday) I woke up in the middle of the night with a few words from an old chorus in my brain. I determined to keep dipping into memory from 35 years ago to see how much I could remember. Surprisingly, I filled it in one line at a time. It was almost as if the Lord was right there by my side, helping me out. An amazing experience.

Also running through my mind this week: snatches of last Sunday's sermon. Pastor Dave preached on Galatians 3:1-3, which includes Paul's question, “Did you receive the Spirit by works of the Law, or by hearing with faith?” Paul here is talking about salvation by faith alone rather than by our obedience to the Law and good works. As our pastor put it, “Not did you achieve, but did you receive?” That sentence struck me because it is so counter-cultural, especially in an achievement-oriented town like Washington. Everyone around me is trying to make it by any other method but faith. But Good Friday is about what Jesus Christ achieved for us, that we might receive the free gift of His love. As Dave said, Paul and the other apostles were “preaching the tree” - Christ crucified for us. Our life is a battle to rely on Christ alone by faith, not a battle to obey laws and do good works on our own. Do not be foolish, the Bible says, but be counted faithful.

Here are the old choruses that I remembered in the night watches.

And Jesus said,

Come to the water, stand by My side

I know you are thirsty, you won't be denied;

I felt every tear drop, when in darkness you cried,

And I strove to remind you, that for those tears I died.

Here's the second one:

Freely, freely, you have received,

Freely, freely, give.

Go in My name, and because you believe

Others will know that I live.

True life is not what I achieve, but what I receive and pass on to others in the name of Christ. No matter what trial or sorrow is in my life, it's still Easter!

I've been redeemed by the blood of the Lamb; I'm filled with the Holy Ghost, I am.

All my sins are washed away, oh praise the Lord!

A Blessed Good Friday to you, and Happy Easter!

Pastor David Coffin's sermon of April 1, 2012, “The Blessing of Abraham to the Gentiles” may be heard in full at www.newhopefairfax.org. Click on Resources, then Sermons to Hear.

The Weekly Encourager – April 3, 2012 – Grieving Takes Time

April 03, 2012 by Janet A. Marney

I wish I could wear mourning. Recently, a kind friend called to invite me to a pleasant event which normally I would love to attend. I declined; she asked why I sounded down, and I reminded her, “Well, I lost my father-in-law a couple weeks ago.” She was surprised since my last Weekly Encourager sounded so upbeat! I responded with a little-known secret: I only write the encouraging things in The Encourager. So today, I'm going to tell another part of the truth. Few people, unless they have lost a parent, understand what I am feeling. And fewer still of my friends are believers who have lost an unbelieving parent. It is impossible to describe the depth of grief in not knowing if your loved one is in heaven or hell right now. That is the true source of my sorrow.

Now, I don't want to embarrass this dear lady whose intention was to offer me a treat; but I have a reason for sharing this. I want to encourage both those going through grief and those who care for them. Grieving takes time. When my friend called, I just didn't feel like going out and making polite conversation at that time. Parties have come and gone, and I have stayed home. I have had to take off whole days from work because I just couldn't concentrate enough to get anything done, and that's okay. Even though, by God's grace, the memorial service went well, there are many more things to be done, such as meeting with very emotional family members to catalogue and begin to divide his possessions and mementos, scanning and publishing his professional papers, scanning and sharing his poetry and family photos with family members near and far, closing bank accounts, taking care of legal matters, paying bills, writing thank-you notes, answering correspondence, etc. On top of that, we have to catch up on all the things we put off in order to care for him and spend as much time with him as we could when he was dying.

Some well-meaning folks who said we'd feel “closure” after the memorial service have no idea what they're talking about. There is no “closure” when you lose a family member, not because of all the tasks to be done, but because things will never be the same. My mother died seven years ago, and I still want to call her up to tell her about what's happening in my life, an exhibit she would enjoy, a movie she should see, the quilt I'm working on, the photos I took on vacation. Then, a second later, I remember that she is gone. I will never call her again. Grieving continues, but eventually a scab grows over the raw wound. At least in her case, I have evidence which gives me hope that she might have been saved.

Grieving takes time. My friend Thérèse told me that I would be in shock for a year after my mother died, and she was right. I couldn't even begin to process what had happened for many months. Yet our society assumes you are fine after two or three weeks! In earlier times in England, ladies would wear only black for a year, then grey or lavender for an additional period of time. They would refrain from attending lively social occasions until a suitable period of mourning had passed. During the last few weeks since my father-in-law passed, I've been wearing mainly dark and subdued colors rather than the bright happy colors I prefer, but this is so common among women of my acquaintance that it signifies nothing to anyone but myself. I am not suggesting that we go back to wearing black for a year, because there is no “one size fits all” grieving. I just want to raise awareness of what some people go through so that we can give ourselves and others a break. I agree with what our friend Jay wrote (quoted in an earlier post) that the one going through grief should feel free to ask for what he needs. I'm not saying you shouldn't invite someone to a party; please do so, but be aware that some people will want more time alone while others will welcome the companionship of friends. (I need more hugs! - just saying.) Be patient: grieving takes time.

It seems I have more to say on this topic, but I'm out of time for now. What?! You mean I can't cover All About Grief in one page?! Apparently not. Lord willing, I'll write more later. Until then, go with God, and grieve with God. Jesus Christ is the Man of Sorrows, Acquainted with Grief. He is our Wonderful Counselor, Almighty God, the Everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace. In the fulness of time, all will be revealed to the glory of God the Father through Jesus Christ. Meanwhile, we trust in Him.

God is faithful,

The Weekly Encourager – March 20, 2012 – Let Your Light So Shine

March 20, 2012 by Janet A. Marney

What does it mean for Christians to let their light shine before the world? Have you done it lately? My friends, God is so good. On Friday, I was blessed by the Lord to be able to see this light in action!

First, a bit of background: Although Dave's dad (“Marney”) was doing well on Christmas Day at our house, he had a stroke on New Year's Day, and during January and February we watched his health decline rapidly, both in hospital and at home. The uncertainty and sorrow are bad enough, but on top of that we've had to deal with major Family Drama on that side of the family, concerning just about every possible aspect of Marney's care and demise. These are people who don't know the Lord, are living blatantly sinful lifestyles, and are actively opposed to God and His people. At first, Dave's siblings did not even want to have a public memorial service, especially in a church! However, we knew that Marney had wanted such a service. He had even selected certain music he wanted played, a poem to be read, etc. Dave and I decided that no matter what the others' objections were, we were going to hold a service that honored his dad's memory and honored the Lord.

Although Marney was raised in a Christian home, he rejected Christ in college. He did not appear to us to have faith in Christ as he was dying [although only God knows for sure whether he embraced faith at the end]. I thank God that Dave and I and our boys got to see him one last time and show our love. He died a few hours later, on March 1, 2012. The whole process took only eight weeks. Many of our Christian brothers and sisters were praying for us during this time, and we began to see prayers answered. We reminded the family that Marney, although not a Christian, had selected a church setting for his ex-wife's memorial, and we planned to use the same lovely facility in its beautiful woodland setting with no overt religious symbols. Despite several obstacles, we were able to book a date and get cooperation from the family at last, by God's grace in answer to the prayers of His people.

As we were planning the event, I thought it would be nice to serve a buffet similar to what Marney had served on many family occasions. I asked friends from church to help with the reception. Dave got the music and poems together; I shopped for food, flowers, and supplies. Together we contacted people, assembled photos, and did the program. It was so sad, because there was not one ray of hope in the service. However, there was one German song that Marney had wanted played at the funeral. I said, “let's look up the translation,” and it turned out to be “those who sow in tears shall reap in joy,” so we were able to squeeze one Scripture into the program!

On the morning of the service, as Dave and I were eating breakfast, I opened my regular devotional book and read aloud these verses for the day:

“Don't hide your light! Let it shine for all; let your good deeds glow for all to see, so that they will praise your heavenly Father.” - Matthew 5:16 TLB

“Be happy if you are cursed and insulted for being a Christian, for when that happens the Spirit of God will come upon you with great glory.” - 1 Peter 4:14 TLB

“Do all things without grumbling or disputing; that you may prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world..” - Philippians 2:14-15 NAS

“Make people want to believe in our Savior and God.” - Titus 2:10b TLB and “Adorn the doctrine of God our Savior in every respect.” Titus 2:10b NAS

Dave and I prayed briefly for God's light to shine before our unsaved family, and that day the Scripture was fulfilled! The service went well, but what made the biggest impression was the presence of our Christian friends who took a day off work to come to the service and support us. Other than Marney's cousin and wife, and one old friend with his wife and daughter, there were no other guests at the ceremony but our believing friends. Not one friend came for the other family members. Best of all, the Lord was gracious to us in bringing calm. For that entire day, there was no bad family drama. People set aside conflicts and behaved well. Thanks be to God.

The reception was a great success. My good friend from church, Karen Royer, made floral arrangements and set up, supervised, and cleaned up the lovely reception, with the able help of Debbie Patterson and Linda Emerick. Other Christian friends pitched in cheerfully. The presence of caring friends in our time of need, their willingness to help, and the quality of their work were all a huge witness to Christ. Their light was shining brightly to the lost! Almost everyone in the family came up to thank me for the ceremony and reception, even those who are violently opposed to the gospel! One woman even expressed an interest in going to church, for the first time. Every one of them knew that our “extended family” were Christians. Every one of them saw the powerful testimony of love among us.

I can't help but think of that old chorus, “And they'll know we are Christians by our love” drawn from John 13:35: “By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” We continue to pray for the salvation of family members on both sides, being freshly reminded that God can use anything, even sorrow and death, to bring glory to Christ. Blessing and honor and glory and power be unto the Lord, now and forevermore! Let His light shine! Amen.

Yours in the light of God's love,

The Weekly Encourager – March 7, 2012 – On Grief

March 08, 2012 by Janet A. Marney

This week I share a timely article on grief by our good friend Jay Sappington.

Facing Grief

Grief takes many forms and lots of time. Sometimes it distracts from the tasks at hand; other times, you wonder why it doesn’t seem to be affecting you, and then it tackles you from behind. It will probably last longer than you expect.

Grief tends to come in waves. The waves often become smaller and less frequent, and, finally, seem to have ended. But, as with the ocean tides, grief can come back in. Something—it might be a word, a smell, a stranger’s face—suddenly reminds you of the person you lost, or some aspect of your relationship or history, and a world of previously unknown feelings swells.

Patterns of Grief

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s classic book, On Death and Dying, proposes five “stages of grief” (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance). This model is highly, but not always strictly, applicable to many kinds of grief. I found C. S. Lewis’s A Grief Observed to be a better yardstick—more of a mirror, actually. When I read it before my father died, I thought its account of the emotions in grief was extreme. After he died, I knew it was no exaggeration.

Yet, everyone’s experience of grief is different. In fact, a single individual’s experiences of grief can vary greatly. I responded very differently to my mother’s death, for example, than I did to my father’s or my brother’s.

Supporting the Bereaved

Most of us don’t know how to support others who are grieving, so we tend to offer platitudes, offer what has helped us, or ignore the issue altogether, none of which is particularly helpful.

She lived a full life. . . . He’s in a better place. . . . She’s no longer suffering. All of these well-intentioned comments, true as they may be, are about the person we lost. But grief is actually not so much about them as it is about us. It’s not a matter of acknowledging what the deceased experienced, escaped, or gained as it is constellation of sadnesses about our loss that needs acknowledgment and consolation.

Offering a grieving person the thing that consoles us is more thoughtful, but doesn’t take into account our differences in psychological make-up. For example, when my brother died, his widow wanted time alone. A neighbor who had lost her husband kindly but counter-productively visited her every day “because when my husband died, I needed someone with me all the time.”

The hardest mistake to avoid is ignoring grief. When should you ask about it? When should you stay quiet? What allowances should you make for the grieving person? This gets harder as time goes on. We tend to forget about others’ grief long before it has passed.

Being the Bereaved

Not even your closest, most empathetic friend always knows what you need or when you need it. So, if you want extra company, extra hugs, extra silence, extra space, or something else altogether, ask for it. This is good for your friends and for you—they don’t have to wonder how to be supportive, and you won’t be as tempted to feel abandoned because no one noticed your need.

Living with Grief

While recognizing the value of Kübler-Ross’s insights, there is really no template for grief. Take whatever you experience to the Lord, lean on Him, your family, and friends, and continue to give thanks for all good things amid the difficult circumstances.

The Weekly Encourager – February 14, 2012 – A Valentine from God

February 14, 2012 by Janet A. Marney

Do you feel loved? I got some bad news today, so I'm posting this as much for myself as for anyone else. Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so.

“I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore I have drawn you with lovingkindness.” - Jeremiah 31:3

“'Behold, days are coming,' declares the Lord, 'when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and with the house of Judah...I will put My law within them, and on their heart I will write it; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people....They shall all know Me, from the least of them to the greatest of them,' declares the Lord, 'for I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more.' “ - Jeremiah 31:31-34

“For as many as may be the promises of God, in Him [Christ Jesus] they are yes; wherefore also by Him is our Amen to the glory of God through us.” - 2 Corinthians 1:20

“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life.” - John 3:16

“Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love. If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father's commandments, and abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full. This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. You are My friends.” - John 15:9-14

God is love. If you have believed in Him, you are loved in the greatest way possible, in the deepest sense possible, and for the longest time possible.

God sent you a valentine in the form of Jesus Christ. We count all else as loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Him. Besides Him, we desire nothing on this earth. He is our one wholly true and faithful love, our joy, our priceless treasure, our all in all, and He loves us!

God is love,

The Weekly Encourager – February 6, 2012 – How to Help: Presence

February 06, 2012 by Janet A. Marney

This is part 3 of a 3-part series.

HOW TO HELP THOSE WITH CANCER OR OTHER SERIOUS ILLNESS

PRESENCE

Today I will share more quotations from Brion and Laura Ferratt. Their heartfelt words convey the importance of “being there” for those suffering serious illness.

Laura wrote: “Emotional needs are fully met. You have all prayed faithfully, sent cards and emails, phone calls and materials to read and meditate on. God is in the midst of each and every one of those precious gifts. So many times, my girlfriends have loved me by sending me a note, calling, praying with me, taking me out to lunch. They have encouraged me when I was feeling desperate and worn out. My prayer partner has been "on call" for me 24/7; our pastor has come over to our home into the wee hours of the night to help us when we've had difficult times....See, oh SEE!!!! The beauty and all-sufficiency of Christ?

“Boy, I do! I see Him, and am moved to tears continually. Nothing is too small to escape His notice. He gives more and more and more each day. Even in the hard times, especially in those times, He meets us where we are, and gives HIS PEACE that can't be understood by natural human minds.

“One of our dear friends in the Lord, a gentleman named Bob Cook, who has been attending our church in recent months, has cancer too. He has been a huge encouragement to Brion and to me, as he has shared in our trial and has been praying for us even as he is undergone treatments for cancer himself. Bob is not doing well; his cancer is a very aggressive brain cancer, and the tumor is now affecting the function of major body organs. Our hearts are heavy as we see Bob suffer and his wife Cathy and his sweet family. But even as he lay dying, Bob encouraged us that the important thing is God's glory. What really matters, he said, is that we look each other in the eye and share our real struggles, and show His grace to each other....I am so sad I won't get to know this precious soul better, but the friendship we have shared has been fast and true, because it is rooted in God's love....May we all live with God's glory being our chief and highest purpose.” [Mr. Cook has since passed away. Brion and Laura will resume that precious friendship in Heaven.]

Another time, Laura wrote, “Thank you for letting me 'vent' and for the prayers that I know you will lift to the Lord for Brion. He is a trooper, and rarely do I see a hole in the armor, but you know they've just got to be there-----daily grappling with pain and fatigue wears a person out. I am so glad to be able to be specific and honest and know you all are out there carrying our burden with us. You lighten our load, and we love you for it.”

Later, Brion wrote, “I find this true for Paul and no less for me. As I ask for and receive your prayers, read your Guest book signings, receive cards, letters, gifts of meals, fruit basket, a blanket, help with to-do’s around the house, etc., the power of Christ is resting on me. Borrowing from Puritan John Newton, 'God has comforted my soul; and as my troubles have abounded, my consolations in Christ have abounded also. He has delivered, he does deliver, and in him I trust that he will yet deliver me.'

“The beauty of the Church is seen in its love for one another. Freely people of God have received grace and forgiveness in Christ; freely they are able to give to those in need, particularly those in God’s family. Because of the common relationship members of the Church have in Christ—the one who removes the deepest guilt and shame—Christians are empowered to serve others and especially freed to comfort others and help remove the pressure another member might feel in asking for assistance in time of need.

“Please know how blessed and appreciative Laura and I are for your kindness to our family in our time of need. It feeds our faith and spurs us to rejoice in the assurance that all things work together for good. (Rom. 8:28) Further, your kindness prepares us all the more to pray for, serve, and comfort you in your time of need. Until then, this is sent with love, Brion.”

May you be blessed and encouraged by these words.

God is faithful,

The Weekly Encourager - February 4, 2012 - How to Help: Practical

February 04, 2012 by Janet A. Marney

This is part 2 of a 3-part series:

HOW TO HELP THOSE WITH CANCER OR OTHER SERIOUS ILLNESS

PRACTICAL HELP

What practical things can we do to help a person in need? First, talk to God all you want, but watch how you talk to other people. Don't assume, but ask if the sick person wishes her condition to be made known to all your mutual friends. Some people are glad for others to know; some prefer to keep it private. Respect that.

The second thing is also from my own experience: Only volunteer to help someone else after you have cared for your own family and yourself properly. In the long run, it doesn't help people or honor God to neglect yourself and those for whom God has given you direct responsibility. Seek God's approval first, not man's.

Now let's get to some verses from Scripture and their practical outworking in the life of the Ferratts. [Italics and capitals by Laura.]

"And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus". Philippians 4:20

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about ANYTHING, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with THANKSGIVING, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends ALL UNDERSTANDING will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus". Philippians 4:4-7

Laura wrote, “ I have always loved these verses, but let me tell you, the truths contained in these passages are vibrantly coming alive for me during this season in our lives. I wanted to share with you some of the ways Christ is proving Himself ALL SUFFICIENT to me and to our family these past few weeks and months since Brion was diagnosed with stage 4 malignant paraganglioma.

“Though we are weak, and our bodies are racked with disease, He is strong. Though I am tempted to be sad and overwhelmed with grief at the loss of the "normal" life we had even a year ago, as a couple and family, Christ is showing me His tender love and how He fulfills every requirement and need as husband and father. For physical needs, we lack nothing. Our church and family have actively met every single need we have thought of to date----for example, my brother in law, Bruce, totally reorganized our garage when he was here in January, and now we can get both vehicles in there with no problem. A friend from church, Brandt, came over and helped Brion to install a garage door opener on the second door, so we wouldn't have to go over and lift it manually, and we can park the Nissan in the garage when bad weather hits. Danny has come over to edge and mow our yard. Folks have brought us delicious meals that fill our stomachs with sustenance, and hearts with love. Yesterday, without my even asking, two of my friends brought meals for us and our refrigerator is totally full of great food. So many others have sent gift certificates, and the session at our church gave Brion a Kindle so that he could have something to read while waiting in doctors offices, and he wouldn't have to lug a big bag of books around MDACC. See, how faithful and beautiful the Body of Christ is? ”

Isn't that encouraging? Other practical ways to help include grocery shopping, child care, house cleaning, yard work, transportation to medical appointments, picking up prescriptions, doing laundry, washing dishes, washing the sick person's hair or taking her out for a haircut, lending books/ music/ movies to the home-bound, running errands, walking the dog, or washing the car. Sometimes the person will need financial assistance, help paying bills, or help with insurance paperwork. One person can organize all the other volunteers so things happen on a regular schedule and the sick person won't have to keep track of who's coming when. It often helps to have one person be the buffer zone, so the sick person doesn't wear out explaining the same things over and over. Almost everyone can do something, and many hands make light work.

Jesus said the one who wishes to be greatest must be the servant of all, so go forth in loving service knowing that you are sharing the very character of Christ.

God is faithful,

The Weekly Encourager – February 1, 2012 – How to Help: Prayer

February 01, 2012 by Janet A. Marney

The Weekly Encourager – February 1, 2012 – How to Help: Prayer

When someone is ill, do you feel powerless and wonder what you can do to help? Several weeks ago I mentioned our brave friends, the Ferratts, who are going through cancer with all its suffering. Some of you may have a friend or family member in this situation now; if not, I'm sure you will at one time or another. Since I live too far away to give any practical help, I rejoice to read in the Ferratts' journal of how the Lord is meeting their needs locally. Their writings contain passages of thankfulness as well as needs. I thought it would be useful to summarize some of what I've culled from them. In many cases, I'll let the nuggets shine on their own.

My plan is to divide this into three Encouragers, with the topics Prayer, Practical Help, and Presence.

HOW TO HELP THOSE WITH CANCER OR OTHER SERIOUS ILLNESS

PRAYER
Come boldly before the throne of grace, confident that Jesus Christ sits on the Father's right hand interceding for all who are His, even when we don't have the words.

Pray for healing. Ask for and get specific medical updates if possible, so that your prayers can be more pertinent. Yet be sensitive to those who prefer not to discuss details.

Pray for wisdom regarding which treatment(s) to pursue.

Pray for patience while waiting between treatments and endurance during the treatments.

Pray for the fruit of the Spirit to be manifest in their lives, so that they may be a witness to unbelievers of the light of Christ.

Pray for humility, including the ability to let others serve them, especially if the sick person was quite self-reliant in the past.

Pray for good family relationships and for the children to understand what's going on.

Pray for the power of Christ to be shown in human weakness

Pray for encouragement of a deeper spiritual walk and a greater vision of things unseen.

Brion wrote,” As the patient it is very easy to focus, hyper-focus even, on my needs to the exclusion of others. How am I going to do this or that? If I do, what could happen? If I don't, who will do it for me? How do I ask another to do this or that without being intrusive, critical, or demanding? I am learning that God has allowed this metastatic paraganglioma in me, if nothing else, to humble me that I might be made willing to ask for assistance. When I need help, I am reminded that I am not as strong as I think. Rather than dismissing the notion of admitting a need in order to appear strong or avoid shame or guilt, I ought to be compelled to embrace that need as an opportunity to establish a relationship and be served by another.”

Another time Brion wrote, “Whenever I have entered the MRI tube, I have profited from considering the words from the Apostle Paul who wrote in 2 Corinthians 12:9 of how God responded to him in time of weakness, “And he said, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." The Apostle Paul had been graciously served by God in Christ Jesus to meet his deepest need, that of forgiveness of sin. Paul still had his weakness (a "thorn in the flesh"), yet Paul had the power of Christ resting on him. I believe one outworking (of many) of that "power of Christ" for Paul was the fellowship of a renewed Corinthian church and others who had supported him in prayer and through physical means.

Lord, help us to pray for those who are ill.

God is faithful,

The Weekly Encourager - January 14, 2012 - Always Hope

January 14, 2012 by Janet A. Marney

While arranging flowers this afternoon, I decided to throw out remnants of the Christmas arrangements: some large rose leaves that had been spray-painted gold. Some of the leaves had shriveled, and others were losing gold paint. All of a sudden, I noticed that a whole new section was sprouting out next to one of the leaves! Boy, was I surprised. These painted leaves have been sitting around in vases for weeks with no special attention paid to prolonging their life. For the last week, they haven't even been in the light. My basic belief is that once you paint a plant, it's on its way out the door anyway, so why bother? But here is a new shoot, pale green, with five or six furled leaves ready to open if given the slightest encouragment. This cast-off branch could bear a rose!

You know what I'm going to say next. What a portrait of my life in Christ! The sin of a person covers his whole life like spray paint, reaching into every corner and crevice, yet Jesus washes it all clean. While we were yet dead in trespass and sin, He sought us out to bring us new life. I decided to keep this little branch as a reminder of salvation.

Another thought comes to mind: Even though I am saved, I'm not in Heaven yet. Sometimes I feel so polluted by the evil, sickness, and sorrow of this world all around me (and even within me), that I can't escape feeling like I'm coated with grime, just as those branches were coated with paint. Yet, as long as I am still in the vase, with my roots nourished by the water of life, I can have the hope of new shoots, new leaves, and even new flowers! It's amazing to me how the Lord continues to work from within, despite all outward appearances to the contrary.

Dave & I recently watched the whole "Lord of the Rings" trilogy (extended version) again, and I found it particularly encouraging. Against all odds, Frodo made it! One of my favorite scenes is just before the battle for Helm's Deep, when Aragorn says to a young lad who has never been in battle, "There is always hope." This is our story and our song. Because of Christ, no matter how difficult the path, or how impossible the goal, we have One who is with us every step of the way. "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." Through Christ, there is always hope. In darkness, there is light. In death, life. Praise be to God!

God is faithful,

The Weekly Encourager - January 6, 2012 - A Strong Comeback

January 06, 2012 by Janet A. Marney

I thought the Christmas Day headline in the Washington Examiner was hilarious: "Christmas making a strong comeback!" Although my husband and I assumed the article would discuss rebounding sales in stores, it was actually about the new freedom to wish strangers "Merry Christmas!" instead of the neutral generic "Happy Holidays!" Apparently, recent polls show that about two thirds of the population would rather be wished "Merry Christmas" than "Happy Holidays." Who knew? Confession: I have caught myself omitting the word "Christmas" so that I might not offend anyone, and this article was a good reminder to go ahead and preach the truth, even in this very small way. Do not be ashamed of the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ!

All that aside, the funny part was that Christmas itself would make a comeback. Of course, Christmas comes back every year, right on schedule!

That started me thinking about an even stronger comeback: the Second Coming of the Lord Jesus Christ! We often use the phrase "making a comeback" to refer to fine athletes who suffer defeat or injury, yet rise again later to play at their finest once more. My friends, this Babe was born in humble circumstances to live a holy life for us and to die a horrifying shameful death that He did not deserve. To many who gathered at the foot of the cross where Jesus hung in supreme agony, it looked like a colossal failure of His ministry and the whole movement. Yet, He made a quiet comeback on Easter morning, and He will make a spectacular comeback on the Last Day. No person can know the exact date in advance, for even the Son does not know His Father's plans; but, we can be sure that Jesus will come again for us, and right on schedule!

Meanwhile, it is the hope of this Strong Comeback that enables us to get through the hard things of this life. We have faith in things unseen but felt with the heart, where the Holy Spirit of the living God has shown His presence by pouring out love and by helping us live righteous lives.

In the weeks leading up to Christmas, Pastor Paul Wolfe preached from his new book, Setting Our Sights On Heaven: Why It's Hard And Why It's Worth It. One of the most compelling chapters discusses what Heaven will be like. Will we be bored up there playing harps on clouds?! How could that be? Look at the way human beings are made, with all our capacities for growth, learning, challenge, creating, excelling. We know from Scripture that our bodies will be perfect and our souls will match. Therefore, while the Bible doesn't give specific details, we can imagine Heaven in terms of things we enjoy now, here on earth. Yet it will be so much greater! Paul said, "eternal life will fully engage us, mind and body."

Just think: all the things we enjoy now will be transformed. I'll be able to have perfect relationships with no sin to mess them up! I'll never utter a hurtful word again, and I'll never be hurt by the words or actions of others. I anticipate learning about physics, astronomy, botany, language, geography (that will be a trip!) in a time when all the mysteries of the universe will be unveiled. And those new athletic bodies couldn't possibly be provided just to sit around on clouds all day. What a waste that would be, and we know that our God never wastes a thing. No, I plan to go running up and down mountains and swimming in clear lakes. I won't be weak, and I won't be fat. If I eat, I'll only desire what is healthful and never out of proportion. There will be unlimited time to pursue music and art, travel and sports, on and on. No, a boring Heaven could only be made by a boring God for boring creatures, and that's not us!

Another thought: Getting older can be a downer, but maybe it's actually kind of God to arrange it so that as we age, we grow weaker and less able to participate in this world. This better prepares us to appreciate Heaven as being all a gift from God, not in our own strength. We can't get there by any of our own accomplishments. So I need to praise God in the humbling of growing older, since I will enjoy Heaven that much more.

Jesus will be making a Strong Comeback, and I will, too.

Happy New Year!

The Weekly Encourager – December 20, 2011 – Welcome All Wonders!

December 20, 2011 by Janet A. Marney

This week I share excerpts from the poem “In the Holy Nativity of Our Lord” by Richard Crashaw (1612-1649). Merry Christmas!

Come we shepherds whose blest sight
Hath met love's noon in nature's night;
Come lift we up our loftier song
And wake the sun that lies too long.

Gloomy night embrac'd the place
Where the Noble Infant lay;
The Babe look'd up and show'd his face,
In spite of darkness, it was day.
It was thy day, Sweet! and did rise
Not from the east, but from thine eyes.

We saw thee in thy balmy nest,
Young dawn of our eternal day!
We saw thine eyes break from their east
And chase the trembling shades away.
We saw thee, and we bless'd the sight,
We saw thee by thine own sweet light.

Welcome, all wonders in one sight!
Eternity shut in a span;
Summer in winter; day in night;
Heaven in earth, and God in man.
Great little one, whose all-embracing birth
Lifts earth to heaven, stoops heav'n to earth.

To thee, dread Lamb! whose love must keep
The shepherds more than they the sheep.

To thee, meek Majesty! soft King
Of simple graces and sweet loves,
Each of us his lamb will bring,
Each his pair of silver doves;
Till burnt at last in fire of thy fair eyes,
Ourselves become our own best sacrifice.

The Weekly Encourager - December 13, 2011 - "O Magnum Mysterium"

December 20, 2011 by Janet A. Marney

"Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God...emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant...He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to...death." - Philippians 2: 5-8

The last couple of weeks have been a struggle of highs and lows. My ankle has been bothering me again, so I'm behind on holiday preparations. The extra projects such as finally painting the upstairs hall which I thought I had "plenty of time for" will have to wait, since I have to sit down with my feet up now. My body is not as strong as it once was, which is very frustrating for an active person. And I can't seem to stop eating those Christmas goodies! I guess the Lord wants me to learn humility.

The other basso ostinato has been an increased awareness of my own sin - what a bummer! It seems that every time I start believing I've made a little progress, my sin smacks me upside the head again. Oh Lord, will I never be free? Romans 7 all over again. I won't even go into the ongoing grief over lost loved ones. "Though He slay me, I will yet praise Him."

Then comes a high point such as walking outdoors and smelling the cool air, being bathed in the pink-lavender glow of a beautiful sunset, receiving a surprise word of encouragement from Austin when I needed it most, interacting with little kids at church, or having a good laugh with friends.

One of the highlights has to be singing Christmas music. Rehearsing these uplifting pieces over several weeks' time provides opportunity to really think about the words. The Holy Spirit has been at work in this. Take, for example, "O Magnum Mysterium" ("O Great Mystery"). I'll give the Latin text and a translation. In very few words, the whole manger scene is evoked in a remarkable way.

O magnum mysterium, et admirable sacramentum,
ut animalia viderent Dominum natum,
jacentum in praesepio!
Beata Virgo, cujus viscera meruerunt portare
Dominum Christum. Alleluia!

O great mystery, and wondrous sacrament,
that animals should see the newborn Lord,
lying in their manger!
Blessed is the Virgin whose womb was worthy to bear
the Lord Jesus Christ. Alleluia!

I've sung these words many times over the years, but never fully understood that the "great mystery" is not the fact that animals saw Jesus, but that the Almighty Majestic Lord of all Creation would condescend to be bound in the tiny body of an infant. This earthly body like ours was doomed to feel pain, hunger, fatigue, illness, death. But "He humbled Himself." Christ's coming to earth for us, and the way in which He did it, is a great mystery that should evoke awe. This God is greater than we can grasp, His thoughts are higher than our thoughts, His ways higher than our ways. Thus we should be humble. The more we see of God's incomprehensible greatness, the more grateful we should be.

A few weeks ago, I heard Pastor Bill Kynes preach about "The Soul of a Servant" from Psalm 123. In talking about how a servant must seek the Lord for His mercy, he said that the servant has no rights: God doesn't owe us a good marriage, a healthy baby, or anything else we want. He said a shocking thing: "You can't really receive God's mercy until you believe that you don't deserve it." Wow. Yet "God delights in showing us mercy." The pastor challenged us to practice humility. As a spiritual discipline, he said, deliberately do a task that no one else wants to do, a task that is beneath you, and do it anonymously. That has stuck in my mind ever since. Well, it's easy to think we're above all that, isn't it? After all, I'm college-educated and have certain abilities, blah blah blah. Shouldn't people recognize the gifts God has given me and place me in higher positions?!

What will it take for me to learn humility? "He humbled Himself." The disciples asked which one would sit next to our Lord in Heaven, and He rebuked them. He said if you are invited to dinner, do not sit in the best seat, but sit lower down the table, and if it's appropriate then you may be asked to move up to a better seat. I am reminded of a bridal luncheon that I threw for my friend Thérèse. Her mother Monica was dying of cancer and suffering constant pain, but she made it to my party. Another guest rebuked me for seating Monica in the seat of honor, rather than the bride. But, without having to ask, I knew that Thérèse would want to show honor to the mother she loved. The deliberate placement of guests around the table was symbolic of the bride humbling herself out of love for God.

Jesus - Coming Soon to a Manger Near You! - this Jesus was the Master who washed the feet of His servants, the Maker of all Trees who willingly died on a tree, the Son of God who became the stranger cast out beyond the city gates. My human pride is as the scales of a snake in my eyes. "Oh Lord, it's hard to be humble, when I sin in every way..." twang.

OK, well, I've asked God to make me humble, and that's probably a good place to start, but I have such a long way to go. Those cows lowing in a barn surpass me in lowliness any day. When I think about it, Christmas really is all about humility, a great and awful heroic humility that saved lives. His birth showed the mercy of God to those who least deserved it. May our response be praise and joy and song! ♪♪

A Blessed Humble Christmas to us all!
j

The Weekly Encourager - November 22, 2011 - A Serving of Gratitude

November 22, 2011 by Janet A. Marney

Psychology is catching up with the Bible. So reports John Tierney of The New York Times. Here's an excerpt from his article, "A Serving of Gratitude May Save the Day."

"Thanksgiving may be the holiday from hell for nutritionists, and it produces plenty of war stories for psychiatrists dealing with drunken family meltdowns. But it has recently become the favorite feast of psychiatrists studying the consequences of giving thanks. Cultivating an 'attitude of gratitude' has been linked to better health, sounder sleep, less anxiety and depression, higher long-term satisfaction with life and kinder behavior toward others....

“But what if you’re not the grateful sort? I sought guidance from the psychologists who have made gratitude a hot research topic. Here’s their advice for getting into the holiday spirit — or at least getting through dinner Thursday:

“Start with 'gratitude lite.' That’s the term used by Robert A. Emmons, of the University of California, Davis, for the technique used in his pioneering experiments he conducted along with Michael E. McCullough of the University of Miami. They instructed people to keep a journal listing five things for which they felt grateful, like a friend’s generosity, something they’d learned, a sunset they’d enjoyed.

“The gratitude journal was brief — just one sentence for each of the five things — and done only once a week, but after two months there were significant effects. Compared with a control group, the people keeping the gratitude journal were more optimistic and felt happier. They reported fewer physical problems and spent more time working out.

“Further benefits were observed in a study of polio survivors and other people with neuromuscular problems. The ones who kept a gratitude journal reported feeling happier and more optimistic than those in a control group, and these reports were corroborated by observations from their spouses. These grateful people also fell asleep more quickly at night, slept longer and woke up feeling more refreshed.

“'If you want to sleep more soundly, count blessings, not sheep,' Dr. Emmons advises in “Thanks!” his book on gratitude research.”

Tierney's timely article goes on to list other researchers' suggestions for gaining gratitude, including the old saw “it could always be worse,” but the overall tone of the article seems a bit on the curmudgeon side to me. For example, he advises, 'When your aunt expounds on politics, rejoice inwardly that she does not hold elected office. Instead of focusing on the dry, tasteless turkey on your plate, be grateful the six-hour roasting process killed any toxic bacteria.'” Meant to be funny, but really sad, isn't it?

How much more we have to be thankful for this Thanksgiving than bacteria-free turkey! We have a loving God who made us, preserves us and cares for us. We have so many rich blessings in this life and countless more in the life to come. As our pastor Dave Coffin said on Sunday, there is one God, our Savior Jesus Christ, and His salvation is deliverance from sin and every evil consequence of sin, even death. Salvation can be summed up in one word: LIFE! Along with deliverance from sin, this salvation that Christ purchased for us involves new physical bodies (yes, toxin-free fitness forever), a caring community of believers, and the redemption of the whole creation, salvation on a cosmic scale.

Our “serving of gratitude” is the natural expression of the Christian's joy. Paul wrote to the Romans of this “Lord of all, abounding in riches for all who call upon Him....Oh the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways!...For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever. Amen. I urge you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship.” - Romans 10:12; 11:33-36; 12:1 We dedicate not just occasional words of thanks, but our whole lives to honor God and worship Him.

It's good for us, too, as psychologists are discovering. "A joyful heart is good medicine." - Proverbs 17:22 "A cheerful heart has a continual feast." - Proverbs 15:15 May we all dish up a healthy serving of gratitude this Thanksgiving.

Thanks be to God! Christ has saved the day! Happy Thanksgiving to you!

A version of this article appeared in print on November 22, 2011, on page D1 of the New York edition with the headline: A Serving of Gratitude May Save the Day.

The Weekly Encourager - November 8, 2011 - Vote for the Veterans

November 08, 2011 by Janet A. Marney

Today is Election Day. No, I am not going to tell you who to vote for, but I will encourage you to get out and vote! Even though it's not a presidential election year, there are other important offices to be filled and issues to be decided closer to home. The confluence of Election Day, Veterans Day (November 11) and the 150th anniversary of the Civil War has me thinking. The brave men and women of our defensive forces have made significant sacrifices to preserve for us a free nation, where we enjoy the peaceable and orderly transfer of power in public office. In effect, our veterans have given us the right to vote! If we do not exercise our rights as citizens of the nation for which they fought and died, we spit upon their graves. So get out and vote. Do it for the veterans.

I offer this poem by Herman Melville for your reflection on Veterans Day. The battle of Shiloh in Tennessee took place on April 6-7, 1862. Casualty levels were unprecedented: the 3500 men who died there amounted to more than the United States had lost in the Revolutionary War, the War of 1812, and the Mexican War combined. The soldiers began the day on two different sides, but ended up strewn together on the ground, companions in a common death.

With citizenship in our nation comes the responsibility to vote. With citizenship in Heaven comes the responsibility to pray. Scripture encourages us to pray for the city in which we live, to be subject to lawful authority, and to pray for Christians everywhere. After taking up the full armor of God, "pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints." - Ephesians 6:18 Pray. Vote. Pray!

Shiloh: A Requiem (April, 1862)

BY HERMAN MELVILLE

Skimming lightly, wheeling still,

The swallows fly low

Over the field in clouded days,

The forest-field of Shiloh—

Over the field where April rain

Solaced the parched ones stretched in pain

Through the pause of night

That followed the Sunday fight

Around the church of Shiloh—

The church so lone, the log-built one,

That echoed to many a parting groan

And natural prayer

Of dying foemen mingled there—

Foemen at morn, but friends at eve—

Fame or country least their care:

(What like a bullet can undeceive!)

But now they lie low,

While over them the swallows skim,

And all is hushed at Shiloh.

The Weekly Encourager - 21 February 2003 - Self-Control

November 04, 2011 by Janet A. Marney

"He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty,

And he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city." - Proverbs 16:32 (NASB)

"Better a patient man than a warrior,

a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city." - Proverbs 16:32 (NIV)

A recent book put it well: "When your child is out of control, the goal is not to control her but to help her gain self-control." How often we as parents are tempted to take the easy way out, to simply dominate the child into submission or to march him off to his room so that we can get a little quiet! While these efforts may offer a short-term solution, in the long run they can be counter-productive. A younger child can feel secure knowing that his parents will be there to help him if he loses control. But, at some point, the parents must shift from intervention to training mode. When provoked, the child must learn to analyze and re-direct his own emotions in time to act more calmly.

The same book continues, "Time-out gives parent and child space and everyone time to cool off....Children should be encouraged to take their own time-out when they feel they are on the verge of losing control. In the home, a safe place should be defined, a place where the child can gather his emotions....Children need to know that it's OK to be angry. The challenge is to find a safe and appropriate way to release the anger. Hitting others, breaking toys, or cursing is not acceptable.

"Decide...what is acceptable behavior, what the consequences of misbehaving will be, and where time-outs will be spent. Although we might enjoy it, the idea is not to send our child to his room for the duration. It is to give him breathing room. The recommended time is one minute for each year of the child's age, [or] until they are under control and ready to review what happened."

- Nancy S. Boyles & Darlene Contadino in "Parenting a Child with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder"

After further thought, I couldn't help but see the parallel to adult behavior. Adults who have not learned to control their anger can cause much more damage than children. Road rage, terrorism, spousal abuse, and murder are logical outcomes. Fortunately, there are laws in this country to help in these situations. Police are regularly called to intervene in situations of domestic violence, because someone lost control. If authorities are not called, the violence usually escalates and eventually leads to further tragedy. It's also passed on to the next generation.

It takes courage, perseverence, and hard work to train a child to control his own anger, but it is worth it. I wish I could describe the joy when my son says, "I was going to do x [angry reaction], but I stopped myself." Self-control is one of the most under-rated but most needed skills in the world today.

Our Father, You who are slow to anger, help us to practice self-control and to teach it to our children.

God is patient,

Weekly Encourager Retraction for May 6, 2003

November 04, 2011 by Janet A. Marney

Dear Readers,

I would like to ask your forgiveness. It has come to my attention that the Weekly Encourager I sent out earlier this morning (6 May 2003) came across with a rather heavy, "preachy" tone which I did not intend. I think that because I feel unusually strongly about this issue, it came out in too forceful a way. The reason I feel it so strongly is that I've struggled so much with my own ability to properly correct my children. How I wish I had been firmer with my boys when they were younger! For every time I was lax then, I'm suffering now. My dismay over my own failures, as well as sincere concern for dear, over-stressed friends, was my motivation. I wish I could spare those of you with younger kids some of the grief I've known. I certainly did not mean to imply that my children never interrupt my conversations, or that they are always obedient in every way. Far from it!

It can be so hard to keep putting forth the effort to discipline a child the way I know I should for his good and for my own sanity. The world, the flesh, and the devil all conspire against me. Yet if God is for me, who can be against me? He loves me. My Encourager was meant to remind myself as well as my readers that God is powerful enough to help me, even in this area. He wants to help and bless me. Thank God!

I hope you all will accept my apology. Please continue to share your reactions with me; I benefit so much from them. Let iron sharpen iron, and thus honor the Lord as we journey on together in this life. I appreciate you all so much. It is an honor even to have so many of you reading what I write. Please join me in praying that my words will help and heal rather than hurt.

God is faithful,

The Weekly Encourager - 6 May 2003 - Children, Obey Your Parents

November 04, 2011 by Janet A. Marney

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right." - Ephesians 6:1

Mothers, do you want to reduce your stress level? You must absolutely insist that your children obey you.

One of Satan's most insidious lies is that a child should be given in to because we feel sorry for him. Perhaps he has lost a parent, or has to deal with a difficult sibling, or has a challenging handicap. Satan makes use of our natural sympathies toward the child by suggesting an improper solution. "This poor child has had a tough time, let him have his way, just this once," he says. Nowhere is the old adage, "give him an inch, and he'll take a mile" more true than in parenting. The more leeway you allow the child in obeying your instruction, the more he will take.

I have seen this time and time again. For example, how many times have I been speaking with a friend and been repeatedly interrupted by her child? If the child has been taught to respect his mother's word, all he needs is one gentle reminder from her ("Jimmy, I'm on the phone now; I'll talk to you when I'm finished") and he goes off to find something else to do until mom is free to talk to him. What a contrast to the mom who enters into conversation with her child each time he interrupts, thus encouraging him to continue to disobey (and increasing her own stress level). Why would a child, sinful by nature, wait voluntarily for something he can get now?

Each time you let him have his way, you are teaching him to be disobedient. Even worse, you are training him not to value your word. The longer you wait to correct this, the harder it gets. I've seen four and five year olds who were not required to obey mom, and at fourteen and fifteen they were getting into more serious trouble. You can't expect them to "grow out of it" if you don't do your job. Instead, their lack of respect for you will extend to others in authority, and you will see your children start to have trouble with teachers, coaches, employers, and the law. How much better to correct the child when you still have might, as well as right, on your side. Far easier, tiring as it is at the time, to spank the toddler than to persuade the teen, highly skilled in the arts of debate and emotional manipulation and possessing far more energy than we!

But, no matter what the age, it's never too late to start meaning what you say. Tell Jimmy that the next time he interrupts, unless it is for a life-threatening emergency, he will be punished (spanking, sent to room, deprived of something he wants, given a chore, sent to bed, etc., as appropriate for the child and his age), and then, follow through. Simply do what you said you would do, let your yes be yes, and your no be no. He will respect you because he respects the punishment. Sorry, but he's a sinner, and this is the only way.

I encourage you to remember that God has given you this authority and this child to raise, so He will enable you to do what is right. He's on your side. In fact, we can only succeed by leaning on His strength. We are tired, but He has power to spare! That same power that raised Christ Jesus from the dead is available to parents. Trust in Him and do it His way, and you will find your family more at peace.

In Christ's strength,

Note to my readers, old and new:

November 04, 2011 by Janet A. Marney

I am going to start posting some of the older Weekly Encouragers that were sent out via email in the pre-blog era. I will focus particularly on those which got the most comments at the time. Some of these posts will appear out of order until I get a chance to re-order them. If you read them, just note the date. Another clue: if it starts out, "Today I told my ten-year-old something," it wasn't written this week!

The goal of The Encourager is to stimulate positive thought and action which can lead to fuller lives in Christ. We honor God when we obey His command to "stimulate one another to love and good deeds." - Hebrews 10:24

Yours in Christ,

The Weekly Encourager - 28 August 2003 - The Lord Who Sanctifies

November 04, 2011 by Janet A. Marney

I have talked with three friends in the last three days who told me they felt like failures as mothers. Their discouragement seemed to be based mostly on their kids' poor performance in some area, academic, social, or behavioral. In each case, the mother seemed to be "doing everything right" biblically: acting in agreement with her husband, having reasonable expectations for the child's age, and patiently repeating the right thing to the child many different times. Yet the child persisted in "not getting it."

(I must add that Dave and I have felt the same frustration with our children on many occasions, some recent. Don't ever think that the author of these columns has perfect children or is the perfect parent!)

Today in Bible Study we discussed one of the Lord's names: "Jehovah-mekoddishkem" in Hebrew, which means "the LORD who sanctifies you." This title for God first appears in the command to observe the Sabbath rest in Exodus 31:12-18. To be sanctified means to be set apart, made holy. In the Old Testament, the people of Israel could only be made holy by strict obedience to God's laws, including daily sacrifices at the Temple to take away sin. But, in our time, through Christ's obedience and perfect sacrifice, believers are now sanctified through Him, by grace.

The point of application is that God clearly states, "I AM the LORD who sanctifies you." No matter how well we do our jobs as moms, we can never change our children by our own power. They will be sanctified by grace, or not at all. We are called to do the best we can in bringing them up to love the Lord, yet the responsibility for true change is God's alone. He is the one who sanctifies our children, in His way and in His time. They are His project, not ours.

O blessed relief! While we are justly concerned and in constant prayer (and effort) for the child who "doesn't get it," we know that if we are faithful in our role, we can be at peace about our children. We don't have to give in to anxiety and fear, or despair and feelings of failure. We don't have to compare our children to someone else's and thus delight Satan. Our job is to continue on, trusting that the Lord will bring honor to His own name. By the way, did I mention that having these frustrating children is part of the sanctification He is working in us? Fortunately for us, our Heavenly Parent never reacts badly when we "don't get it." His response to our disobedience is filled with loving patience, forgiveness, and peace.

May our loving Father's grace flow through our lives to the needy hearts of our children. May our behavior towards them make them want to know Jesus. May we continue on with hope.

"Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be preserved complete, without blame at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass." - 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24

Thank God! He is faithful,